Social Networking – A
Loaded Weapon (Part 2)
By Jarred Boyd
In my first article on Social Networking, I gave biblical
support for why I believe social networking is potentially too dangerous for
those who aren’t working to bridle their tongues – namely, adolescents. The
practice of wisdom and taking safety precautions is crucial when dealing with a
“loaded weapon” (social networking). In “Part 2” of this article, I’ll be
dealing with how social networking has severely damaged adolescents’
communication skills.
The Problem
Youth today aren’t necessarily becoming more socially
awkward; they’re becoming less polite, considerate, and especially less
socially engaging face-to-face. There isn’t research directly supporting this
theory, but my personal dealings with youth as well as support from many others
whom interact with adolescents on a regular basis certainly confirm it. This is
due to their constant electronic involvement that requires little to no social
skill to perform.
The other day I walked into my local Buffalo Wild Wings, and
scanned the restaurant for a place to sit. As I’m scanning the room, I notice
that every single table in the dining area has at least one person with their
phone out. This is the norm, too. Go to a restaurant these days, and you’ll
notice that people spend just as much time looking down at their phones before
their meal arrives, as they do in personal interaction with their company. It’s
absolutely ridiculous. What an awesome example we set, as adults, for teenagers
and kids, when we spend more time looking down at an electronic device than we
do looking into the eyes of those whom we’re dining with. The saddest display
of this reality is a family at the dinner table or in a restaurant who allow
their kids to play video games, or even worse – have their headphones in,
completely tuned out from reality! Nothing bothers me more, than seeing a
family sit with each other and never be present with one another. It is truly a
sad sight.
You see, here’s the problem – priority. What should our
priority be – interaction with those whom we’re present with, or interaction
with those whom we’re connecting with through a mobile device? Answer – those
whom we’re present with! Communicating through Facebook, Twitter, and text
messaging has taken rank over talking with people we’re in close contact with.
This reality presents a major problem not only for our own communication
skills, politeness, and consideration of others, but also for those whom we’re
looking to set an example for.
Teenagers
Trying to talk with an adolescent in person is like trying
to talk with your first crush – you’re looking for common ground, something
that will strike their interest to keep them engaged - you’re searching for
anything to keep the conversation going. Talking with an adolescent on the
phone is like watching an old man stumble while trying to keep his feet and
eventually crash – a very slow, awkward, painful while entertaining process.
When you talk to adolescents it can often be frustrating, because you’re spending
a lot of energy just to get words out of them. It often happens very slowly, it
can be extremely awkward, and overall – it’s a painful process (in the sense
that, about 1 minute in, you’re ready for it to be over), while at the same
time, usually provides you with a solid chuckle afterwards because of something
they say, or rather, lack of words they have to say.
Pre-teens and teens need to be taught how to communicate and
interact with others – especially adults. They know how to interact with peers,
the problem is, that interaction is typically rash and unproductive. Learning
politeness, manners, and other communication skills is crucial for the
adolescent.
When I was a boy, I distinctly remember my parents sitting
my brother and me down to practice phone etiquette. We would be given scenarios
to practice helpful phrases, introductions, goodbyes, courteous manners,
sincere questions to ask callers, etc. I was taught the art of talking
efficiently to people with sincerity and courtesy.
Teens regularly engaging in social networking sites and text
messaging/Instant messaging (we’ll refer to this entire group of non-personal
interaction as “NPI”), are more consistently tapping into unproductive means of
communication. They’re not correctly articulating what and how they want to say
things (i.e. “lol”, “brb”, “ttyl”, “lkasdihgnciahdiai”, etc.). A by-product of
this is their boldness through NPI sources. Kids are now saying things that
they would NEVER say to another in person while looking them in the eye.
Therefore, as James Steyer is quoted in an article - Social Networking Has Hidden Dangers For Teens - "If you're not in the same place as the person, it
just feels less personal; it's easier to do mean things... It's almost
simulated behavior. You can be risky and do riskier things in a digital
context." Adolescents, in turn, are sharpening the wrong edge of the
knife! Instead of sharpening their interpersonal skills, they’re sharpening
their NPI skills.
Instead, we need to not only
remove the “loaded weapon” of NPI from the hands of teenagers, we need to
replace it with a healthier tool – one that can help build up, instead of break
down – interpersonal communication. Teenagers need to learn how to be
confrontational in person; not online. They need to learn how to confess
feelings in person; not through a text message. They need to learn when NOT to
say things that can be harmful in person; not be tempted through an easy access
digital communication form to express rash thoughts. They need to learn to be
bold while looking another being in the eye while talking; instead of looking
at their profile picture.
Okay, but how does
this pertain to Christians?
Everyone is born without a knowledge of the Gospel,
therefore the message must be relayed to them. As Christians we’ve been called
to carry the Gospel to all nations (Matt 28:19). Not only that, we know that
the only way for peoples to be saved is by the hearing of the Gospel –
therefore God sends out messengers. This “message”, this “Gospel”, needs to be
articulated well, and with clarity (Col 4:4). Herein lies the importance -
teenage Christians are missing the opportunity to be effective message
carriers. How can we expect these adolescents to accurately teach their
friends, other family members, or strangers the glorious good news of Jesus if
they can’t even hold a 2 minute phone conversation? Obviously, we know that the
Spirit intercedes for us, where we fall short (Luke 12:11-12). And it’s the
Spirit who works through us to bring lost souls to the throne (John 16:8-11).
But it must be understood that we are responsible for sharpening our skills in
this area, which includes personal interaction. How much more effective would a
teenager be for the advancement of the Kingdom if he/she learns the art of
personal communication! Communication skills must not fall by the wayside – we
must teach adolescents how to politely and effectively communicate. After all,
lost souls are hanging in the balance…
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