Shepherd > Friend

You are the leader of a student ministry before you are a friend to youth. While student leaders do enjoy a high degree of relational connections with teens there is often a temptation to connect with them on the wrong level. The pressure and desire to connect with your target age group and impact their life can lead to an unhealthy attachment or misplaced priority. While your heart may be in the right place and your passion be inspiring, a less than professional etiquette must be avoided. In other words, don’t “lower” yourself just to gain approval by the high school “power brokers”, the “in” crowd, the ones who lead the heard. Don’t be sucked into acting in a certain way just to be labeled the “cool” youth leader. In an attempt to connect and be accepted by the youth do not lower your standard or side-step your responsibility in being a biblical example. If you find yourself striving for acceptance by lowering your standard, take a step back, pray, and share your challenge with a trusted ministry friend. Remember, you do not want to do anything that would diminish your position or reputation in exchange for being “one of the gang”. Students don’t need you to be their primary friend, but they do need you to be someone they can trust and emulate. You may not see the effects of a misplaced friendship priority for a season or even longer. You may not recognize an inappropriate reputation gradually being constructed. Among parents, elders and deacons however, you will lose more leverage and influence than any temporary gains you might get from an emphasis on or pursuit of the cool factor. So speak the truth of God’s word in love and embrace the friendships that arise from leading students rather than impressing them. Your authentic love and discerning leadership will inspire them without the pressure of being voted flavor of the year by Cool Youth Leader's Magazine.

“Shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness.” I Peter 5:2  “In all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified . . . “ Titus 3:7