Making Major Decisions

Making Major Decisions

During the course of a year most of us only make two or three truly major decisions. These might include whether or not  to change jobs, which job to take, whether or not to move to another city or across town, how many children to have,  which church to attend, what kind of personal ministry to undertake, what kind of car to buy (and do I really need a new  one?), how to adjust lifestyle to a reduced income, and so on. Yet, these comprise some of the most important and difficult  decisions we ever make. Most of the major decisions we make in life are not specifically dictated by Scripture. So what do we do? A PERSPECTIVE Here are some considerations to help make better decisions: Know that many major decisions do turn out wrong. A man became restless after twenty one years with the same  company. He could not isolate the source of his feelings, but decided he needed a change. Since that time he has  bounced around from job to job, never keeping the same position more than three years. A couple decided to move to a "better" neighborhood. There was nothing wrong with their present neighborhood. In fact,  they loved their neighbors, the location was convenient, crime was low, the mortgage payment was a pittance, and they  couldn't really find anything wrong with their existing home. Their new house required much more upkeep than they had  figured. The higher payments created a great deal of tension between them. Soon they began pointing fingers at each  other, blaming one another for deciding to leave the old neighborhood. If you are not content with yourself where you are, you will not be content where you are going. It is an error to think  that changing our circumstances alone will make us happy or content. Often we cling to some selfish ambition that is  at odds with leading a surrendered life. Count the cost of making the wrong decision. Perhaps the greatest lesson I've learned about making major decisions is  the cost of making the wrong decision. When decisions turn out right, "I" am brilliant. When they turn out wrong, "you"  really blew it! Think about this next statement: The greatest time waster in our lives is the time we spend undoing that  which ought not to have been done in the first place. Do you agree. Usually we can recover if we make a bad choice. Sometimes, however, we can't. Never make a decision that bets the entire  ranch on being right. Most decisions are obvious given enough information and time. When do we make poor decisions? When we don't have  our facts straight and when we are hasty. Keep collecting data. Write it down so you don't forget it. The mind by itself may  blow one small fact all out of proportion. Writing it down puts things in perspective. Talk to wise counselors; get other  people's perspective. Talk to experts who have skill better to operate from fact than feeling. Ours is an impatient world, a hasty world, an impulsive world. If my computer takes three seconds to sort 20,000,000 bytes  of data instead of one second I get frustrated. Let's get real! It takes time to make a wise, major decision. The mind may  know quickly what to do, but it takes time for our emotions to catch up. We have vested positions which only time can  change. We must wait for that "gut feeling," which is our subconscious mind informing our conscious mind of the results  of its thorough and complete analysis. THE MEANS OF GUIDANCE The major decisions we make will come most easily if we abide in Christ daily, begin each dawn in humble surrender to  God, seek to please Him in all our ways, and live our lives out of the overflow of our personal relationship with Jesus. To  assist us God has given means of guidance. Let's briefly explore each of seven different means God has given us to help  discern His will. The Bible. The single most important question to ask is, "Has God already spoken on this matter?" The Bible is chock  full of commands (which are duty) and principles (which are wise). We don't have to wonder if not reporting $1,800 of  incidental income to the IRS is God's will. We know it is. As the Bible says, "Do not go beyond what is written"  (1 Corinthians 4:6). Obedience is the trademark of a biblical Christian. Talk over the Scriptures together. Prayer. Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will  be complete" (John 16:24). Over and over and over again we are invited to present our requests to God. Prayer is the  currency of our personal relationship with Christ. Spend it liberally. Pray over major (why not all?) decisions. The Holy Spirit. God lives in us in the person of the Holy Spirit. He is our counselor, convicter, comforter, converter, and  encourager. Consciously depend upon Him and He will both guide you and intercede for you. "The Spirit intercedes for  the saints in accordance with God's will" (Romans 8:27). The Holy Spirit is the one Who "clothes" us with power from on  high. The Holy Spirit will never lead in contradiction to His written Word. Conscience. In seeking God's will we must live by the pledge of a good conscience toward God and other people. "Dear  friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God" (1 John 3:21). Keep in mind that while a guilty  conscience provides clear evidence you are not in God's will, a clear conscience may not guarantee you have correctly  discerned God's will. Conscience is more effective as a red light than a green light. To go against conscience is neither  wise nor safe. Circumstances. Some people are born short, some tall. Some black, some white. Some in America, some in Argentina.  Some to poor parents, some to rich. God's will is often revealed clearly by the circumstances in which we live. "He  determines the times set for them and the exact places where they should live" (Acts 17: 26). If you want to purchase a  house which will require a $100,000 mortgage and you can only qualify for $75,000, then circumstances have told you  God's will. Counsel. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22). Often we need nothing  more than a good listener to help us crystallize our thoughts into coherent words. Other times, we need the advice of a  trusted friend. Seek out each other's counsel. Fasting. Fasting is a lost spiritual discipline in this age. Fasting slows down the physical functions so that the mind  can be more in tune with Christ. Fasting demonstrates a seriousness about your concern to the Lord. Employ these constituted means for finding the will of God. Do them only occasionally and it will amount to nothing more  than priming a rusty pump. Do them regularly and the will of God will gush forth like deep well springs. A PROCESS Here is a useful, practical process for finding the will of God. Keep in mind this is not a process for getting our own way.  We must be cautious that we truly want what God wants. Otherwise we will twist things to our own way. Each step builds  on itself, and you may find the answer becomes obvious at any point along the way. If it doesn't make itself clear, keep  moving through the steps until it does. Write down the decision exactly. Nothing clarifies our thinking more quickly than paper and pencil. It's said that half the  solution is knowing the problem. Precisely what is the decision? What are the choices? Next, write out a "purpose statement" which precisely explains why you are considering this decision. It is helpful not  only to know what you are trying to decide, but why. "Why" are you trying to decide "what" you are trying to decide?  What is the context? Do you have to move? Is it a need or a want? Are you unhappy? Next, submit your "purpose statement" to a series of questions. Here are some suggestions: What are you trying to accomplish, and why? What is your objective, or desired end result? What are your expectations and why? How does this decision fit in with your calling? Are you considering this from a sense of calling or duty? What would Jesus do if He were you? What is the "next" right step to take? If your answer still hasn't become obvious, list each option on a separate sheet of paper. On the left side list the  advantages of that option; on the right side list the disadvantages. As Louis Agazziz said, "A pencil is one of the best  of eyes." Usually, one option will prove itself clearly desirable, or undesirable, at this point. At all times, employ the seven steps of guidance to discern God's will covered above. If the answer still hasn't come, wait. You can never predict what God is doing in your life. God is not a man that He would  ever work for your harm. God is committed to working for your good. Commit to let God set the agenda. Never push God.  If the answer isn't obvious, trust Him to make it clear in His timing. You can rush ahead if you must, but you do so at your  own peril. Better to wait upon the Lord. Give Him the time He wants to work some things into and out of your character.  And remember this: God is not the author of confusion. Satan, however, is. If you are still confused, wait. Peace is the umpire. Let me encourage you to keep this article in a handy place. Review it when you seem to get stuck on a major decision. Business leader, author, and speaker, Patrick Morley helps men to think more deeply about their lives, to be reconciled  with Christ, and to be equipped for a larger impact on the world. © 1998. Patrick M. Morley. All rights reserved.

Teen Girls & Sex - Survey

Survey: Unprotected sex common among teens On average, girls lose virginity at 15; some are having sex at school By Laura T. Coffey TODAYShow.com contributor updated 9:04 a.m. ET, Fri., Nov. 14, 2008 Parents, brace yourselves: The survey results are in, and you may not like what they reveal about girls and sex. More than 10,000 teenage girls and young women took part in an anonymous survey over the summer on TyraShow.com, the Web site of “The Tyra Banks Show.” Survey questions focused on sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, as well as drinking, drugs and violence among females. Here are some findings from the survey: On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age. 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school. 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex. One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease. 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex. One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom. About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone. One out of three teens has tried drugs.

TV Exposes Kids to Sex More than Internet

Youth Culture Update: Television Exposes Kids to Sex More than the Internet

We all know the Internet is a cesspool of salacious, tawdry activity; and kids can access all manner of sexual  content with just a simple click. However, researchers for the organization Internet Solution for Kids say that  even if kids are exposed to tawdry content earlier nowadays, the Internet is typically not the main culprit.  According to the organization's research, about 75 percent of youth are exposed to sexual content via television,  and 69 percent say they hear quite a bit about sex through music. Ironically, the Internet is the lowest sexual   influencer when it comes to media, with only about 16 to 25 percent of youth reporting seeing sexual content  online. Even the alarming sexting stats we've been reading about are blown out of proportion, according to   researchers. Teens who sext are pretty likely to be sexually active already (USAToday)

Suprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian population

Suprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian Population

The prestigious study (released in March by the National Center for Health Statistics and the Centers for  Disease Control and Prevention) discovered a much smaller number of "gays, lesbians and homosexuals"  than generally reported by the news media. While pop-culture frequently cites the figure of one in 10 (based  on 60-year-old, widely discredited conclusions from pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey) the new study  finds only 1.4% of the population identifying with same-sex orientation. Moreover, even among those who describe themselves as homosexual or bisexual (a grand total of 3.7% of  the 18-44 age group), overwhelming majorities (81%) say they've experienced sex with partners of the  opposite gender. Among those who call themselves heterosexual, on the other hand, only a tiny minority (6%)  ever engaged in physical intimacy of any kind with a member of the same sex These figure indicate that 94%  of those living heterosexual lives felt no physical attraction to members of the same sex, but the great bulk of  self-identified homosexuals and bisexuals feel enough intimate interest in the opposite gender to engage in  erotic contact at some stage in their development. A one-way street In fact, numbers show huge majorities of those who "ever had same sex sexual contact" do not identify  long-term as gay. Among women 18-44, for instance, 12.5% report some form of same sex contact at  some point in their lives, but among the older segment of that group (35-44), only 0.7% identify as  homosexual and 1.1% as bisexual. In other words, for the minority who may have experimented with gay relationships at some juncture in their  lives, well over 80% explicitly renounced homosexual (or even bisexual) self-identification by age of 35. For  the clear majority of males (as well as women) who report gay encounters, homosexual activity appears to  represent a passing phase, or even a fleeting episode, rather than an unshakable, genetically pre-determined  orientation. The once popular phrase "sexual preference" has been indignantly replaced with the term "sexual orientation"  because political correctness now insists there is no factor of willfulness or volition in the development of erotic  identity. This may well be the case for the 94% of males and 87% of females (ages 18-44) who have never  experienced same-sex contact of any kind and may never have questioned their unwavering straight  outlook — an outlook deemed "normal" in an earlier age.  ‘Let go’ of one in 10 For the less than 2% of men and women who see themselves as gay, however, the issue of sexual orientation  remains vastly more complicated. Within a month of the release of the CDC/NCHS report, one of the world's most respected think tanks on gay life confirmed some of its most surprising findings, without specifically  referencing the recent government study. UCLA's Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public  Policy offered a new estimate of homosexual identification: concluding that 1.7% of Americans say they're gay, and a slightly larger group (1.8%) identified as bisexual — by definition attracted to both genders and shaping their  sexual behavior through some mixture of inclination and preference.

Sexting - the consequences are serious!

SEXTING - “the use of a cell phone to send sexually suggestive text or  e-mails with nude or nearly nude photos.” Think of the END before you press SEND Know This: Most teens that send sexually suggestive photos and videos or messages are sending it to boyfriends/girlfriends. Sexting can be hurtful to others and destroy relationships. Sexually explicit messages and photos are often shared with people other than the person who it was meant. If you forward a sexual picture of someone who is under 18 years old, you are responsible for this image as the original sender. You could face child pornography charges, go to jail, and have to register as a sex offender. Things to Think About Before Pressing “Send” In cyberspace – anything you send or post will never truly go away. It is going to become public. Anything that causes you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace should always be avoided. (adapted from Walt Mueler seminar handout)

Average Youth Minister Profile

How Do You Fit into the Average Youth Minister Profile

What is the Profile of the Average US Youth Minister Lets look at an average youth minister in the US. A combination of surveys from approximately 3000  youth ministers reveals the following profile. 33 years old Remains in a church position 3.9 years. 75% are married 76% are male. 94% have a 2 year college or university degree 49% of those with college degrees are ministry related majors and 42% of those with degrees are in a youth ministry emphasis or major. 62% serve in suburban ministry settings The majority are Baptist (20%) 38% receive no health insurance benefit; 47% receive no continuing education, auto or travel allowance 43% receive no housing allowance 64% receive no social security contributions 50% receive no budget for professional supplies, resources, or books. 72% percent struggle with feelings of being inadequate or ineffective in ministry. 64% who begin ministry under age 25 with no mentor will leave the ministry in less than 4 years 78.4 % left youth ministry by age thirty-nine 22% left during their twenties 16% left the ministry in less than two years 3.1 years average at a single position 89% said they had considered leaving the ministry 57% said they would leave immediately if they had a better place to go, including secular work. While the above data is not a glowing testimony of tenure, it does dispel much of the myth regarding 18 month

Teens Overdosing

Teens overdosing on prescription drugs at record numbers

Fentanyl is a pain reliever patch, but like many prescription drugs, teens figure out ways to use them to get high. In David's case, he somehow ingested the gel in the patch, which is 80 times the power of morphine. He went to sleep that night and never woke up.It's one tragic story of dozens in Houston. Teens are dying in record numbers using prescription drugs. "Kids getting whacked out of their mind and just reckless ingestion of chemicals," said a former drug user  we're calling "Johnny." Johnny knows too many people to expose himself, he says. "You've done them, all haven't you?" we asked Johnny. "Oh yeah, I've pretty much done everything under the sun," he said. Johnny's a popular but former, he says, Houston teenage peddler, pusher and user of drugs. "You continue to go to the parties. You see the high school kids out there. What kinds of designer drugs are  they taking today?" we asked him. "They're just taking it because the end result it will make them feel better," he said. "What's the wake up call to parents? What do you want parents to know?" we asked. "That anyone and everybody could be using this drug, could dealing this drug. Parents should be worried  because the availability, the cheapness of them -- 10 bucks a pop, for the experimental chemicals or whatever, acid," Johnny said. "This is cheap allowance money that can get them high?" we asked. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's paper route  money," Johnny said. The frightening reality is that these prescription drugs are so easy to get a hold of. The drug David died from  was believed to have been stolen by friends from a grandmother's cabinet. "You understand people are dying because of this?" we asked Johnny. "Yea," he said. "Kids are dying?" we asked. "Kids, yeah," he replied. "You know the users, you know the pushers, you've been at the parties. Why is it you don't expose all of  this?" we asked.  "I don't know. I'm not proud of it," he said. For Mason, exposing his son's drug pushers is an eventual priority. But for now, he just wants to make it  through another week. "That boy made a difference, he made a difference in us," Mason said. He's still trying desperately to understand the unthinkable, the death of a son by prescription drugs. "My son is with Jesus and I have that peace, I have that peace," Mason said. It is such a tragic loss. The strong advice from the father, however, is to talk to your teenagers, explain the  dangers and dead-end road of drugs. Even the seemingly best of kids are getting involved with prescription  drugs. For more information, visit the Teen Drug Abuse website or the National Institute on Drug Abuse  website.

A Calendar Life

If you are in Student Ministry then you are aware of something that most in the church do not give a great deal of thought to – the extensive calendar that affects your life.  As a student minister, your life and your ministry to a great extent revolve around a school and ministry calendar.

Appropriate ministry events or happenings are used to attract students, sustain momentum or generate anticipation and excitement on an entry level. A well done ministry event can also produce a huge spiritual impact and catapult students towards deepening discipleship in their life. 

Too often though student ministries suffer from TWO extreme calendar mistakes. Either they have no calendaring strategy, very little on the calendar and consequently enjoy no traction towards a maturing, purposeful ministry event.  The other extreme is to fill a student ministry calendar so full that there is literally some sort of ministry event all the time. Its like trying to put 50 lbs of cement in a 20lb bag.

Now those you who have read Simple Student Ministry by Eric Geiger and Jeff Borton may have adjusted your ministry towards the middle and become healthier in the process.
But there are many in student ministry who mistakenly applied an extreme version of Simple Student Ministry and slashed their ministry events so far back that the only students still attending are those ready for deepening discipleship or those who have no choice in their participation.A healthy youth ministry is has a leader who endeavors to create strategic fun and deepening discipleship within the same ministry.
I want to share with you a brief but helpful strategy for calendaring your life and ministry.  Its called STATEGY 336The title simply reflects the number of months represented in each segment of the strategy.It looks like this3 months = CONCRETE3 months = TENTATIVE6 months = SKELETAL Now before we jump into that first let me share a few verses with you to help convince you that JESUS is honored in your planning efforts and smiles when you apply planning to His kingdom work.Now we know about the advance planning of Nehemiah and his advance planning and organization skills applied to rebuilding Jerusalem. We could stop there but. . . I Corinthians 14:33 tells us that “God is not a god of confusion”
but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. Proverbs 21:5

Luke 14:28-30 ask us to consider the truth of planning and organization saying “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance,

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. Prov. 24:27

So, strategic calendaring with purpose is practical and biblical.

The first part of the 336 strategy is 3 Months CONCRETE.  Just like it implies, these are 3 months of calendar that should never be deleted or dropped unless an emergency arises. In other words, they are “set” in concrete. The larger the church the more months that may be applied to each segment but for the sake of explanation lets just go with 3,3,6.

Three months CONCRETE = Name of Event or happening, the date is set, the purpose of the event is established, the specific target audience is determined, the cost is printed and the place booked. You know what programming is being planned and any speaker is booked and other elements set. Also if you use Lead Teams (and I hope you do) A Lead Team coordinator and Lead Team members are already enlisted to “do the work of the ministry” for that particular ministry event.

So, the first three months are CONCRETE!

The second 3 mos are called Tentative! Just as it suggest, there a few ministry decision or elements that “in-process” they are TENTATIVE. During these three months of calendaring, you have a pretty firm date, a defined purpose, appx cost, location is being determined if not final, but you may only have a LTC and not a full Lead Team yet, or you may have a target audience like MS students but you don’t know precisely what elements are going into the programming. Maybe you have a speaker or two as options and trying to settle it out. Or maybe you are looking at your budget to see if you will be able to book a guest speaker or band or what elements you can weave into the event. During this phase of calendaring, you have enlisted a LTC but not a full team. In other words, some things are concrete and some things are in-process or TENTATIVE.

The final segment is six months. This is the SKELATAL period.  During these six months you may only have a date and an idea. For example, you know you are going to camp and it is locked into the calendar but you don’t yet know where or what the theme is. During this period you may have a cost range or target price you will charge but that might change. You are busy establishing the major elements of the ministry event but the details are just in the planning stages.  You may not have a LTC yet but you are recruiting both a LTC and a LT to begin the work.

Remember the larger your church or youth group, the more time is needed to calendar plan. Because you may be coordinating a ministry calendar with several other ministries within the same church, you may need more time. So your 336 strategy may be a 6-6-12 strategy.  There is no set standard but there are some principals that should guide your calendaring.

1^st – Make sure you calendar with Purpose. There should not be anything on your ministry calendar that does not require a ministry to pull it off.

2^nd Don’t over or under do it. If you plan a lean or slim calendar it will be full by the end of the year. If you plan a packed calendar your leadership and you may be pleading for relief by the end of the year. So plan lean, and execute well.

3^rd. Don’t become a lone ranger! Involve people in the whole process and give the ministry away. 

Survey results Shock MTV

Survey results Shock MTV

A groundbreaking survey from an unlikely source backs up what family groups and youth ministers have been saying about kids all along. The survey reveals that teens are highly influenced and attracted to role models and family. While not extremely suprising to those in the youth ministry trenches, this is really good news. The MTV/Associated Press poll shows what kids really desire is TIME with family. Four areas of the survey are outlined below. The survey question was: What makes you most happy? The top response garnishing 20 % from teens age 13 to 24 was spending time with family. Seventy-three percent of teens are somewhat or very happy with their relationship with their parents. Many parents wrongly assume that teens simply do not want to spend time together. The truth is, they want their space and they want their family too! Lead Parents and Teens to make time for both! 50% ot teens also said that one or both parents are their heroes.

New Words Generation

New Words for a New Generation

One encompasses more than 165,000 entries. The other allows for just 140 characters. No matter. The  Merriam-Webster Dictionary has found it in its loquacious soul to allow the word tweet into its newest edition.  Tweet, referring to the brief missives sent on the popular micro-social networking service Twitter, joined more  than 100 new words and terms in the 2012 edition. Americana, referring to a style of music, got an entry.  Cougar got an extra definition (that referring to an older women who has a thing for younger men).  Bromance made the cut, too, as did helicopter parent and boomerang child. (AP)