Reprinted article from Walt Mueller pushing back about Family Intergrated Youth Ministry

Monday, November 18, 2013

Youth Groups Driving Christian Teens to Abandon Faith? . . . Some Issues. . . .

Last week a friend posted a link to an article from Charisma magazine that was making the rounds in our youth ministry world. My friend wrote this:  "Have you seen this? I would love your thoughts. This study has been emailed to me by 2 pastors in the past two weeks. This study is by the same group that did Divided the movie. I agree that Youth Ministry has been factor in this problem but I don't know the best way to respond to those that are putting this study on my desk." 

And so I went and read the article - "Youth Groups Driving Christian Teens to Abandon Faith" - and followed the embedded links.

Some of you may know that I blogged on the Divided  movie and the organization behind it - the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches - back in July of 2011. You can read that blog post here. In that post, I talk about my take on the film, along with some reflections on how the film was made, and how my interview for the film was presented to me, conducted, and then included in the movie. . . or about 5 seconds of it! At the time, I expressed some deep concerns about how these folks were going about their business, along with some concerns about their message. Now, I've read the Charisma article. My concerns have been reignited.

So, in response to my friend's question, let me offer a couple of responses. First, about the survey and it's methodology. Second, I want to say something about youth ministry.

The Charisma article begins with this line: "A new study might reveal why a majority of Christian teens abandon their faith upon high school graduation." There's quite a bit in that first sentence that should cause us concern. For me, the biggest and most immediate issue was referencing the "new study" conducted by the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches. I linked to the "study" and found it more accurately to be a "survey". . . an online survey in fact. Take a look at it for yourself. All I will say about the survey is that if you are going to quote this, you also have to talk about the sketchy methodology that's used to come up with results that are entirely slanted, and therefore unreliable. Like the Divided movie, what you have here appears to be another piece of propaganda. Consider this simple little fact: the people who will take this survey are already biased in their opinion against youth groups. That's why they would go to this site in the first place. This would be like me. . . a Philadelphia Eagles fan.  .  . setting up an Eagles' fan site that's populated and frequented by Eagles' fans. Then, setting up an online survey soliciting the opinions of Eagles fans on the Dallas Cowboys and their likability through a series of three questions that give Eagles fans the option to rail on the Cowboys. If you know anything about football. . . or are from Philly or Dallas. . . you know how this one would go if, let's say, 90% of the respondents were Eagles' fans. Enough said.

My first concern, then, is with how the folks at the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches are going about their business. We should expect better. They need to know that sketchy methodology and hidden agendas driven by an "ends justifies the means" mentality will drive Christian youth workers and others to ignore their message. I, for one, have a very difficult time taking them seriously based on my past experience with their methods and tactics. To be honest, I am now skeptical about anything these folks are producing.

But there's a second aspect to this discussion. It has to do with the criticisms that are being leveled against our youth ministry world by these folks. To dismiss these criticisms without giving them serious introspective consideration would be irresponsible and arrogant on our part. We can't use the irresponsibility or sketchiness of those who criticize us as an excuse to not pause and consider whether or not there is any truth or validity to their accusations. Is it possible that we do need to look at our theology and practices? 

Let me offer some brief and direct thoughts on the relationship between church, youth group, and family that are restatements of things we've been saying here at CPYU since the get go:

• The Scriptures are clear: parents are primarily responsible for the spiritual nurture of their children.
• The youth group, Sunday School, youth pastor, youth workers, teachers, and congregation are to offer deliberate secondary spiritual guidance and nurture in support of parents.
• Youth ministries that establish separate youth worship services at times when the "big people" are in "big people church" are nurturing kids into a needs-based understanding of worship and the Christian faith. Not only that, but they are dividing up the body of Christ. Children, teenagers, young adults, parents, middle-aged adults, senior citizens. . . all of them need to be worshiping together to experience the full breadth and depth of the body of Christ and to exercise and benefit from the giftedness of all.
• Youth workers should be recruiting and equipping an army of adults to love, relate to, and mentor kids.
• The church and youth group cannot ignore the growing number of young people who are growing up without a parent or parents in the home, and the growing number of kids whose search for redemption in the absence of home-based spiritual nurture lead them to the church and youth group. 

One last thing. . . I can't seem to find any place in the Scriptures where the use of websites, online surveys, and other "worldly innovations" are a biblical way to reach people or solicit opinions. 

Reading list for Student Ministry

READING LIST FOR STUDENT MINISTRY 
Preparing for Adolescence: How to Survive the Coming Years of Change:  Dr. James Dobson /The gold standard for preparing parents for the adolescent transformation.  This book will allow parents to become a resource to those with whom they work and have influence.
Life On The Edge: Dr. James Dobson / Life on the Edge: The Next Generation's Guide to a Meaningful Future is Dr. Dobson’s newest publication.
Don't Waste Your Life:  John Piper / Recommended for Parents and High Schools.  This is a must read that provides insight into why God created us and reminds us that to live is Christ and to die is gain. A life lived for Christ is a life not wasted. A powerful and inspiring read.
How to Stay Christian in College:  J. Budziszewski / Not that a true believer can lose his/her salvation but a book on practical and powerful tips on remaining faithful when the safety nets and safe guards of High School are left behind. The foundations of Christian faith are covered in this essential work that directly addresses different worldviews and myths students encounter in college.
How to Stay Christian in High School:  How to handle the everyday temptations and pressures of high school are addressed as this author engages the student’s minds in a way that will lead to transformation and hope.
Do Hard Things: Alex and Brett Harris /  If you have ever wondered if this generation will rise to the challenge, read this book.  Discover the truth about challenging students to go all the way to His purpose and potential and about teenage rebellion against low expectations.
Raising a Modern Day Knight:  Learn the father’s role in guiding his son to authentic manhood.  If you are a single mom, see how an authentic role model from your student ministry can help change the future of your son.
Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture: Walt Mueller / This highly recommended publication bridges teen worldviews and Christian culture. Mueller deals with modern v. post-modern worldviews and the need for listening and understanding the emerging generation in order to effectively minister and communicate the gospel to them.
Adolescence Isn’t Terminal: Kevin Leman / Trusted family relationship expert Kevin Leman helps parents navigate the choppy waters of their children's teen years with humor and grace. Emotive stories and practical advice give parents hope and encouragement.
After You Drop Them Off:  Jerusha and Jeramy Clark / These guys provide trustworthy answers to parents’ questions about what goes on at youth group meetings and offers practical suggestions, biblical support, and “real-life” parents’ comments and stories.
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: Gary Chapman / Discover how to identify and fluently speak your teenager’s primary love language and gain insight into how and why teens need to be loved differently than preteens.
Confident Parenting: Jim Burns / Confident Parenting gives practical advice with God honoring principles. Jim Burns addresses overcrowded lifestyles, overcoming negative family patterns, and raising kids who love God and themselves.
Every Young Man's Battle: Can any young man escape the lure of sexual temptation in today's world? You're surrounded by sex constantly--in movies, on TV, video games, music, the Internet. Is it any wonder that it feels impossible to stay sexually pure? How do men survive the relentless battle against the onslaught of lust? With powerful ammunition. The authors of the hard-hitting mega-bestseller "Every Man’s Battle "know the temptations young men face every day. The fact is, you can achieve victory over sexual compromise.  This book shows young men how to rise above today's debased, self-seeking culture by examining God's standard, training your eyes and mind, cleaning up your thought life, and developing a plan with biblical strategies that have worked for millions of men.
SAFE EYES - Not a book but a great resource.  The ONLY internet filter I recommend to parents.  Why?  The best price anywhere, excellent product and fast.  It is an unbelievable internet filter that does NOT slow down your computer or online search.  And, NO, they are not a sponsor - they just have a great product.

Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry: A Personal and Practical Guide to Starting Right, Doug Fields Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers, Christian Smith  Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers, Chap Clark  Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers Is Telling the American Church, Kenda Creasy Dean  The Godbearing Life: The Art of Soul Tending for Youth Ministry, Kenda Creasy Dean  Understanding Today's Youth Culture, Walt Mueller  Youth Culture 101, Walt Mueller  Blockbuster Movie Illustrations: Over 160 Clips for Your Ministry, Bryan Belknap  Group's Blockbuster Movie Illustrations: The Return, Bryan Belknap  Blockbuster Movie Illustrations: The Sequel  Bryan Belknap The Seven Checkpoints: seven principles every teenager needs to know, Andy Stanley  The Air I Breathe: Worship as a Way of Life, Louie Giglio  Purpose Driven Youth Ministry: 9 Essential Foundations for Healthy Growth, Doug Fields Youth Ministry Nuts & Bolts: Mastering The Ministry Behind The Scenes, Duffy Robbins Help! I'm a Small Church Youth Worker: Achieving Big-Time Success in a Non-Mega Ministry, Rich Grassel

American's view of needs vs. luxuries from 1890-present!

According to research, American's view of what they considered NEED vs. WANTS  has changed drastically since 1890.   In 1890 Americans listed just 16 things that they considered essential to life.   Now in 2013, we list 100 things as needed or essential to basic life. We have moved towards a materialistic society at light speed.

Are We Failing to Communicate God's Word?

If asked, most of us would say communicating God's word to our students is one of our highest priorities. Our conviction is that prevailing ministries are built on God's word; we have a personal love for biblical truth; we're passionate about its message; and we've seen God change lives with it—so we invest a significant amount of time, resources, and programming to preach and teach Scripture. Unfortunately, many of us feel like we're not getting Scripture into their lives like we'd want. It seems there have been some changes in the ways our students receive, process, and value information. Combined with the normal challenges of spiritually forming teenagers, we find it extremely difficult to effectively communicate God's word to our students.

As we discuss this issue, we sense that we're not the only ones wrestling with this challenge. So, we're proposing that we find ways to put our heads together and brainstorm some ideas about how we can capture the emerging generation's imagination with the compelling story of what God has done throughout history as recorded in Scripture. To start the conversation we'll list some of the assumptions we're beginning to work with and some of the questions we can't answer at this time. We invite you to look these over, consider them, and be part of a conversation with other committed youth workers.

Let us first begin with our assumptions:

• The emerging generation is not prone to read books in order to discover their world; and visual mediums such as movies, the internet, and television shape their perceptions of the world the way the written word shaped the perceptions of previous generations.

While this generation still reads to some degree, their mode of learning is shifting away from text/word/lecture dominated. To say they're primarily visual is only part of the truth. It's a complex situation with many contributing factors. However one can look at many indicators and statistics, whether hours-per-day viewing television, literacy rates, or scholastic test scores, and all these studies mean one thing when you're teaching your students: it's difficult for them to listen to you and learn when you're teaching through lecture.

• The emerging generation is biblically illiterate.

The students new to our groups have little or no knowledge of key verses, stories, or characters. Those involved for any period of time have some understanding of Scripture, but only bits and pieces of information; and they don't view Scripture as a unified whole. Sadly, we must agree with George Lindbeck's statement, as cited in Tony Jones' Postmodern Youth Ministry, that "there was a time when every educated person, no matter how professedly unbelieving or secular, knew the actual text from Genesis to Revelation with a thoroughness that would put contemporary ministers and even theologians to shame." This is no longer the case.

• Students are film literate.

Multi-media is becoming the dominant language of teenage culture, primarily because movies do a great job of telling compelling stories that involve a multi-sensory combination of interesting celebrities and hit soundtracks. Just by hearing how many movies are seen and how much television is watched each week, it's easy to see why most students are ignorant of God's story but intimate with Hollywood's stories. The deeper implication is that students' beliefs are shaped by what's seen. Ask and you'll find that most students' (and adults') beliefs about Jesus, salvation, and worldview have been shaped by movies, television, and other visual media.

• Students easily relate to compelling stories but struggle to relate to propositional teaching.

I had excellent teachers who taught me to compose a sermon by having a thesis statement, followed by my first, second, and third points. The only problem is that my students' eyes glaze over when I teach propositionally, and an hour later they cannot tell me what I talked about. However, students can recall three years later compelling stories I've told in my preaching.

• Youth workers and churches don't have the visual story-telling resources to introduce students to the Scriptures in a culturally relevant way.

If most students don't have a basic understanding of how Scripture fits together as an organic whole, and if they don't see that it's a singular story beginning in Genesis, coming to completion in Revelation, and if they don't see the story unfolding today, they don't know how to integrate singular messages, studies, or stories. They have a level of ignorance that becomes an impenetrable barrier that will stay with them in their transition from adolescence to adulthood. Students could attend Sunday morning worship, youth group, and small group studies and still never move beyond a basic level of understanding the Christian story. They can be deeply moved by gifted speakers, make commitments to Christ, and yet remain spiritual infants, having threads of the story, while failing to understand the grand tapestry of drama contained in Scripture.

Questions we're asking:

As teachers, here are some questions we're asking as we try to figure out how to impact this generation.

• How can we communicate God's word, which has been passed down in a written form, to a generation that is primarily visual?
• Is much of Scripture easily re-translated to visual communication? Since its roots were in the Jewish oral tradition, a lot of Scripture began as storytelling, which eventually was written down. Since a film begins as written story in a script, is it possible to use the stories of Scripture to create scripts, and ultimately, visual stories?
• If the Christian story, as told in Scripture, is the most compelling story the world will ever hear, how can we relearn how to tell the story so that it moves peoples' hearts and souls?
• Modern evangelicalism reads like a tax form: all the info is there, but it's not inspiring. To quote Leonard Sweet, "Postmoderns don't approach life as a problem to be solved but a mystery to be experienced and lived." The Bible-as-list is a modern concept, separating by theme, etc. (this is how I've tried to attack the Bible at times, but perhaps story, maybe arranged chronologically, would be the best approach now).

In other words, contemporary evangelicals have dissected the Scriptures to the point where the story is lost—it becomes about facts and singular, untouchable truths. Contemporary evangelicals believe that they can separate themselves from the Scriptures and objectively figure out the truths within the text.

• Since the Christian story no longer captures our students' imaginations, what storylines do capture their imaginations and govern their lives?

What storylines are the most dominant themes that define our kids lives? Is it the storyline of being rich, successful, good-looking man or woman, finding pleasure?

• What are some effective ways visual tools can be used?

Martin Luther published his New Testament with 22 woodcut illustrations, so could we publish visual tools that communicate to this generation in the language and media with which they're already familiar? Since storytellers and movie producers are so effective at influencing students through movies, how can we harness and use that medium in our ministry? What if some of our innovative, creative teachers gave their best efforts to find ways to communicate to this emerging generation? What if we tried to communicate God's story creatively and effectively using the medium of film—a language understood by teenagers and young adults? With 90% of the decisions to follow Christ made before the age of 19, are the stakes high enough for us to gather and invest the resources it will take to create a relevant, compelling medium that connects with this emerging generation?

• How will we pay for these expensive projects?

Bob Briner, in his book Roaring Lambs, was very confident that funding would be available for innovative, creative Christians who came up with compelling ideas for works of art (movies, television shows, stage productions), and he gave several inspiring examples. But how can we pay for quality, full-scale productions that can easily cost millions of dollars? Also, when we consider how little money is available to media projects targeting teens, and when we see that most foundation grants favor established, long-term ministries, how will we find the money to pursue these projects?

Amos 8:11-14 says, "'The time is surely coming,' says the Sovereign Lord, 'when I will send a famine on the land—not a famine of bread or water but of hearing the words of the Lord. People will stagger everywhere from sea to sea, searching for the word of the Lord, running here and going there, but they will not find it. Beautiful girls and fine young men will grow faint and weary, thirsting for the Lord's word. And those who worship and swear by the idols of Samaria, Dan, and Beersheba will fall down, never to rise again.'"

We feel that a famine is upon us and it's urgent that we find ways to capture the imagination of this generation with the awesomeness of God's story.

reprinted from an article written by by Justin Bell and Wes Dillon

Your next sermon - get em talking

Want a Sermon that will have the whole church talking?

Now and then, an unbelievable sermon comes along that is just cut from a different cloth. One that must be heard to believe . . . a sermon so attention getting that IF you were to re-preach it, you will have your students, parents and staff talking about it for a long time. In fact . . . long after your gone! Here ya go . . . (for the extremely serious minded, this web page is for humor and not theology) This video does not reflect the views of SME, it's director, board members or purpose and should be viewed as entertainment only. Click Here for "the" Sermon

Fathers and Evangelism

Fathers and Evangelism

According to research, if a child accepts Christ as savior there is a 3.5 percent chance the  rest of the family will follow towards salvation. If the mother in a family becomes a Christian, there is a 17% chance the rest of the family  will follow towards salvation. If a father accepts Christ as savior, there is a 93% chance that the rest of the family will  follow towards Christ.

Sexual Activity and Teens

Sexual Activity and Teens

Many teens in the dark on how sexual diseases spread A THIRD of sexually active teenagers have their first experience before the age of 14 but many are unaware how infectious diseases spread, new figures have shown. The Marie Stopes International survey of 1000 13- to 18-year-olds and their parents revealed that 31 per cent of teenagers were sexually active but almost a third did not know they could catch sexually transmitted infections from oral sex. Almost half were unaware they could be infected by chlamydia without showing symptoms. Of the 52,000 cases of chlamydia recorded last year a quarter were among those under the age of 19. And more than half those surveyed were unaware that using a condom would not protect them from contracting herpes. While 22 per cent of parents surveyed thought their children were sexually active, 31 per cent of teens said they were. Twenty per cent of adults had never talked to their teens about sexual health. Thirteen per cent of parents would have no idea if their children were sexually active. The research showed that on average those teenagers who had sex education talks with their parents became sexually active later (at 15.3 years) than those who had not discussed the issue (14.7 years). Experts say the findings underline the need for mandatory sex education in all Australian schools. The survey classified "sexually active" as oral sex, intercourse or touching of genitals.

Internet Surfing Alters Brain

Is surfing the Internet altering your brain?

CANBERRA (Reuters Life!) - The Internet is not just changing the way people  live but altering the way our brains work with a neuro-scientist arguing this is  an evolutionary change which will put the tech-savvy at the top of the new social order. Gary Small, a neuro-scientist at UCLA in California who specializes in brain function,  has found through studies that Internet searching and text messaging has made brains  more adept at filtering information and making snap decisions. But while technology can accelerate learning and boost creativity it can have drawbacks  as it can create Internet addicts whose only friends are virtual and has sparked a  dramatic rise in Attention Deficit Disorder diagnoses. Small, however, argues that the people who will come out on top in the next generation will be those with a mixture of  technological and social skills. "We're seeing an evolutionary change. The people in the next generation who are really going to have the edge are the  ones who master the technological skills and also face-to-face skills," Small told Reuters in a telephone interview. "They will know when the best response to an email or Instant Message is to talk rather than sit and continue to email." In his newly released fourth book "iBrain: Surviving the Technological Alteration of the Modern Mind," Small looks at  how technology has altered the way young minds develop, function and interpret information. Small, the director of the Memory & Aging Research Center at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience & Human  Behavior and the Center on Aging at UCLA, said the brain was very sensitive to the changes in the environment such as  those brought by technology. He said a study of 24 adults as they used the Web found that experienced Internet users showed double the activity in areas  of the brain that control decision-making and complex reasoning as Internet beginners. "The brain is very specialized in its circuitry and if you repeat mental tasks over and over it will strengthen certain neural  circuits and ignore others," said Small. "We are changing the environment. The average young person now spends nine hours a day exposing their brain to  technology. Evolution is an advancement from moment to moment and what we are seeing is technology affecting our  evolution." Small said this multi-tasking could cause problems. He said the tech-savvy generation, whom he calls "digital natives," are always scanning for the next bit of new information  which can create stress and even damage neural networks. "There is also the big problem of neglecting human contact skills and losing the ability to read emotional expressions  and body language," he said. "But you can take steps to address this. It means taking time to cut back on technology, like having a family dinner, to  find a balance. It is important to understand how technology is affecting our lives and our brains and take control of it." By Belinda Goldsmith

Making Major Decisions

Making Major Decisions

During the course of a year most of us only make two or three truly major decisions. These might include whether or not  to change jobs, which job to take, whether or not to move to another city or across town, how many children to have,  which church to attend, what kind of personal ministry to undertake, what kind of car to buy (and do I really need a new  one?), how to adjust lifestyle to a reduced income, and so on. Yet, these comprise some of the most important and difficult  decisions we ever make. Most of the major decisions we make in life are not specifically dictated by Scripture. So what do we do? A PERSPECTIVE Here are some considerations to help make better decisions: Know that many major decisions do turn out wrong. A man became restless after twenty one years with the same  company. He could not isolate the source of his feelings, but decided he needed a change. Since that time he has  bounced around from job to job, never keeping the same position more than three years. A couple decided to move to a "better" neighborhood. There was nothing wrong with their present neighborhood. In fact,  they loved their neighbors, the location was convenient, crime was low, the mortgage payment was a pittance, and they  couldn't really find anything wrong with their existing home. Their new house required much more upkeep than they had  figured. The higher payments created a great deal of tension between them. Soon they began pointing fingers at each  other, blaming one another for deciding to leave the old neighborhood. If you are not content with yourself where you are, you will not be content where you are going. It is an error to think  that changing our circumstances alone will make us happy or content. Often we cling to some selfish ambition that is  at odds with leading a surrendered life. Count the cost of making the wrong decision. Perhaps the greatest lesson I've learned about making major decisions is  the cost of making the wrong decision. When decisions turn out right, "I" am brilliant. When they turn out wrong, "you"  really blew it! Think about this next statement: The greatest time waster in our lives is the time we spend undoing that  which ought not to have been done in the first place. Do you agree. Usually we can recover if we make a bad choice. Sometimes, however, we can't. Never make a decision that bets the entire  ranch on being right. Most decisions are obvious given enough information and time. When do we make poor decisions? When we don't have  our facts straight and when we are hasty. Keep collecting data. Write it down so you don't forget it. The mind by itself may  blow one small fact all out of proportion. Writing it down puts things in perspective. Talk to wise counselors; get other  people's perspective. Talk to experts who have skill better to operate from fact than feeling. Ours is an impatient world, a hasty world, an impulsive world. If my computer takes three seconds to sort 20,000,000 bytes  of data instead of one second I get frustrated. Let's get real! It takes time to make a wise, major decision. The mind may  know quickly what to do, but it takes time for our emotions to catch up. We have vested positions which only time can  change. We must wait for that "gut feeling," which is our subconscious mind informing our conscious mind of the results  of its thorough and complete analysis. THE MEANS OF GUIDANCE The major decisions we make will come most easily if we abide in Christ daily, begin each dawn in humble surrender to  God, seek to please Him in all our ways, and live our lives out of the overflow of our personal relationship with Jesus. To  assist us God has given means of guidance. Let's briefly explore each of seven different means God has given us to help  discern His will. The Bible. The single most important question to ask is, "Has God already spoken on this matter?" The Bible is chock  full of commands (which are duty) and principles (which are wise). We don't have to wonder if not reporting $1,800 of  incidental income to the IRS is God's will. We know it is. As the Bible says, "Do not go beyond what is written"  (1 Corinthians 4:6). Obedience is the trademark of a biblical Christian. Talk over the Scriptures together. Prayer. Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will  be complete" (John 16:24). Over and over and over again we are invited to present our requests to God. Prayer is the  currency of our personal relationship with Christ. Spend it liberally. Pray over major (why not all?) decisions. The Holy Spirit. God lives in us in the person of the Holy Spirit. He is our counselor, convicter, comforter, converter, and  encourager. Consciously depend upon Him and He will both guide you and intercede for you. "The Spirit intercedes for  the saints in accordance with God's will" (Romans 8:27). The Holy Spirit is the one Who "clothes" us with power from on  high. The Holy Spirit will never lead in contradiction to His written Word. Conscience. In seeking God's will we must live by the pledge of a good conscience toward God and other people. "Dear  friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God" (1 John 3:21). Keep in mind that while a guilty  conscience provides clear evidence you are not in God's will, a clear conscience may not guarantee you have correctly  discerned God's will. Conscience is more effective as a red light than a green light. To go against conscience is neither  wise nor safe. Circumstances. Some people are born short, some tall. Some black, some white. Some in America, some in Argentina.  Some to poor parents, some to rich. God's will is often revealed clearly by the circumstances in which we live. "He  determines the times set for them and the exact places where they should live" (Acts 17: 26). If you want to purchase a  house which will require a $100,000 mortgage and you can only qualify for $75,000, then circumstances have told you  God's will. Counsel. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22). Often we need nothing  more than a good listener to help us crystallize our thoughts into coherent words. Other times, we need the advice of a  trusted friend. Seek out each other's counsel. Fasting. Fasting is a lost spiritual discipline in this age. Fasting slows down the physical functions so that the mind  can be more in tune with Christ. Fasting demonstrates a seriousness about your concern to the Lord. Employ these constituted means for finding the will of God. Do them only occasionally and it will amount to nothing more  than priming a rusty pump. Do them regularly and the will of God will gush forth like deep well springs. A PROCESS Here is a useful, practical process for finding the will of God. Keep in mind this is not a process for getting our own way.  We must be cautious that we truly want what God wants. Otherwise we will twist things to our own way. Each step builds  on itself, and you may find the answer becomes obvious at any point along the way. If it doesn't make itself clear, keep  moving through the steps until it does. Write down the decision exactly. Nothing clarifies our thinking more quickly than paper and pencil. It's said that half the  solution is knowing the problem. Precisely what is the decision? What are the choices? Next, write out a "purpose statement" which precisely explains why you are considering this decision. It is helpful not  only to know what you are trying to decide, but why. "Why" are you trying to decide "what" you are trying to decide?  What is the context? Do you have to move? Is it a need or a want? Are you unhappy? Next, submit your "purpose statement" to a series of questions. Here are some suggestions: What are you trying to accomplish, and why? What is your objective, or desired end result? What are your expectations and why? How does this decision fit in with your calling? Are you considering this from a sense of calling or duty? What would Jesus do if He were you? What is the "next" right step to take? If your answer still hasn't become obvious, list each option on a separate sheet of paper. On the left side list the  advantages of that option; on the right side list the disadvantages. As Louis Agazziz said, "A pencil is one of the best  of eyes." Usually, one option will prove itself clearly desirable, or undesirable, at this point. At all times, employ the seven steps of guidance to discern God's will covered above. If the answer still hasn't come, wait. You can never predict what God is doing in your life. God is not a man that He would  ever work for your harm. God is committed to working for your good. Commit to let God set the agenda. Never push God.  If the answer isn't obvious, trust Him to make it clear in His timing. You can rush ahead if you must, but you do so at your  own peril. Better to wait upon the Lord. Give Him the time He wants to work some things into and out of your character.  And remember this: God is not the author of confusion. Satan, however, is. If you are still confused, wait. Peace is the umpire. Let me encourage you to keep this article in a handy place. Review it when you seem to get stuck on a major decision. Business leader, author, and speaker, Patrick Morley helps men to think more deeply about their lives, to be reconciled  with Christ, and to be equipped for a larger impact on the world. © 1998. Patrick M. Morley. All rights reserved.

Teen Girls & Sex - Survey

Survey: Unprotected sex common among teens On average, girls lose virginity at 15; some are having sex at school By Laura T. Coffey TODAYShow.com contributor updated 9:04 a.m. ET, Fri., Nov. 14, 2008 Parents, brace yourselves: The survey results are in, and you may not like what they reveal about girls and sex. More than 10,000 teenage girls and young women took part in an anonymous survey over the summer on TyraShow.com, the Web site of “The Tyra Banks Show.” Survey questions focused on sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, as well as drinking, drugs and violence among females. Here are some findings from the survey: On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age. 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school. 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex. One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease. 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex. One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom. About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone. One out of three teens has tried drugs.

TV Exposes Kids to Sex More than Internet

Youth Culture Update: Television Exposes Kids to Sex More than the Internet

We all know the Internet is a cesspool of salacious, tawdry activity; and kids can access all manner of sexual  content with just a simple click. However, researchers for the organization Internet Solution for Kids say that  even if kids are exposed to tawdry content earlier nowadays, the Internet is typically not the main culprit.  According to the organization's research, about 75 percent of youth are exposed to sexual content via television,  and 69 percent say they hear quite a bit about sex through music. Ironically, the Internet is the lowest sexual   influencer when it comes to media, with only about 16 to 25 percent of youth reporting seeing sexual content  online. Even the alarming sexting stats we've been reading about are blown out of proportion, according to   researchers. Teens who sext are pretty likely to be sexually active already (USAToday)

Suprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian population

Suprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian Population

The prestigious study (released in March by the National Center for Health Statistics and the Centers for  Disease Control and Prevention) discovered a much smaller number of "gays, lesbians and homosexuals"  than generally reported by the news media. While pop-culture frequently cites the figure of one in 10 (based  on 60-year-old, widely discredited conclusions from pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey) the new study  finds only 1.4% of the population identifying with same-sex orientation. Moreover, even among those who describe themselves as homosexual or bisexual (a grand total of 3.7% of  the 18-44 age group), overwhelming majorities (81%) say they've experienced sex with partners of the  opposite gender. Among those who call themselves heterosexual, on the other hand, only a tiny minority (6%)  ever engaged in physical intimacy of any kind with a member of the same sex These figure indicate that 94%  of those living heterosexual lives felt no physical attraction to members of the same sex, but the great bulk of  self-identified homosexuals and bisexuals feel enough intimate interest in the opposite gender to engage in  erotic contact at some stage in their development. A one-way street In fact, numbers show huge majorities of those who "ever had same sex sexual contact" do not identify  long-term as gay. Among women 18-44, for instance, 12.5% report some form of same sex contact at  some point in their lives, but among the older segment of that group (35-44), only 0.7% identify as  homosexual and 1.1% as bisexual. In other words, for the minority who may have experimented with gay relationships at some juncture in their  lives, well over 80% explicitly renounced homosexual (or even bisexual) self-identification by age of 35. For  the clear majority of males (as well as women) who report gay encounters, homosexual activity appears to  represent a passing phase, or even a fleeting episode, rather than an unshakable, genetically pre-determined  orientation. The once popular phrase "sexual preference" has been indignantly replaced with the term "sexual orientation"  because political correctness now insists there is no factor of willfulness or volition in the development of erotic  identity. This may well be the case for the 94% of males and 87% of females (ages 18-44) who have never  experienced same-sex contact of any kind and may never have questioned their unwavering straight  outlook — an outlook deemed "normal" in an earlier age.  ‘Let go’ of one in 10 For the less than 2% of men and women who see themselves as gay, however, the issue of sexual orientation  remains vastly more complicated. Within a month of the release of the CDC/NCHS report, one of the world's most respected think tanks on gay life confirmed some of its most surprising findings, without specifically  referencing the recent government study. UCLA's Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public  Policy offered a new estimate of homosexual identification: concluding that 1.7% of Americans say they're gay, and a slightly larger group (1.8%) identified as bisexual — by definition attracted to both genders and shaping their  sexual behavior through some mixture of inclination and preference.

Sexting - the consequences are serious!

SEXTING - “the use of a cell phone to send sexually suggestive text or  e-mails with nude or nearly nude photos.” Think of the END before you press SEND Know This: Most teens that send sexually suggestive photos and videos or messages are sending it to boyfriends/girlfriends. Sexting can be hurtful to others and destroy relationships. Sexually explicit messages and photos are often shared with people other than the person who it was meant. If you forward a sexual picture of someone who is under 18 years old, you are responsible for this image as the original sender. You could face child pornography charges, go to jail, and have to register as a sex offender. Things to Think About Before Pressing “Send” In cyberspace – anything you send or post will never truly go away. It is going to become public. Anything that causes you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace should always be avoided. (adapted from Walt Mueler seminar handout)

Average Youth Minister Profile

How Do You Fit into the Average Youth Minister Profile

What is the Profile of the Average US Youth Minister Lets look at an average youth minister in the US. A combination of surveys from approximately 3000  youth ministers reveals the following profile. 33 years old Remains in a church position 3.9 years. 75% are married 76% are male. 94% have a 2 year college or university degree 49% of those with college degrees are ministry related majors and 42% of those with degrees are in a youth ministry emphasis or major. 62% serve in suburban ministry settings The majority are Baptist (20%) 38% receive no health insurance benefit; 47% receive no continuing education, auto or travel allowance 43% receive no housing allowance 64% receive no social security contributions 50% receive no budget for professional supplies, resources, or books. 72% percent struggle with feelings of being inadequate or ineffective in ministry. 64% who begin ministry under age 25 with no mentor will leave the ministry in less than 4 years 78.4 % left youth ministry by age thirty-nine 22% left during their twenties 16% left the ministry in less than two years 3.1 years average at a single position 89% said they had considered leaving the ministry 57% said they would leave immediately if they had a better place to go, including secular work. While the above data is not a glowing testimony of tenure, it does dispel much of the myth regarding 18 month