Student Ministry Essentials BLOG

Making a practical case for establishing or keeping a student leadership team

2011-12-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

Over the years, I have observed a reduction in the number of student ministers establishing and/or maintaining student leadership teams. I am talking about MS, HS and College age who serve as leadership among their peers for the purpose of effecting and advancing ministry. There is just as much to be said about forming and/or nurturing an adult team of leadership but if you need that spill then your days are numbered already and probably too far gone to be helped. OK, maybe not too far gone but dad-gum-it, how did you get this far without enlisting a team of adults who love, support and carry the water bucket for you? I feel a rant coming on but that’s another series.
For now I want to share, convince, implore, admonish, encourage, beg and whatever else is needed to get you to prayerfully consider the value of a student leadership team of adolescents. The work of securing leadership is hard work and never ending. One reason many youth leaders are letting leadership teams go is that they are running at 90 mph with their hair on fire and cannot stop long enough to punt and retool. Another reason is that student pastors simply do not know how to practically and equitably secure a team without hurt feelings, seeming exclusive or encouraging elitism. But, it can be done, is worth the effort and far better than any other system of implementation.
I have seen many cool and not so cool names for these teams. The name does not matter unless you are sporting a culturally astute gotee, black rim glasses, pencil pants or wear a beanie when its barely cold outside.

See sample names at the end of this – if you last that long.

NOTE** The Youth leadership is a NOMINATION process and not an ELECTION - big difference. Elections are decided by number of votes, a nomination is simply an indication that someone thinks of that person an eligible leader. They must still meet the criteria laid out on the nomination ballet. (sample criteria: confessing Christ follower, faithful to small groups, active member of church and student ministry initiatives, concerned about peers, willing to serve, team player, etc.)
The adult leadership team can nominate as well and/or "confirm" the slate of nominations after the Student Pastor selects from the ballots. The number of votes may be considered by the youth pastor in selection but is not bound by it. He can also add a youth as a member-at-large if he fills a youth should be on it but would not get votes. NEVER REVEAL TO PARENTS OR COMMITTEE THE ACTUAL ballot return vote numbers. Only submit the slate as a total team. the shred the results - parents can get crazy - just ask the cheerleading coach :)

The team (whatever you end up naming it) is patterned after the following ideas
1. We are in the discipleship and training business. Leadership youth should be learning what it means to be an elder and/or a deacon (servants)
2. Leadership students will sit on the sidelines unless they have an outgoing extrovert personality. They need a platform of responsibility at church.
3. Leadership students need a platform from which to leverage the vision being cast by the YM.
4. The youth leaders need a platform from which to promote events, ministry action and his vision.
5. Students need to know WHO it is that the YM is pointing to as good examples to trust and follow their own age.
6. Student leaders need responsibility just like a team needs a captain to offer direction.
7. Students need peers who can carry their opinions, likes, dislikes to the adult leadership.
8. A leadership team gives the YM a means for trial and error without shouldering the burden alone.
9. A YM (no matter how young and vibrant) will eventually need a sounding board from whick to float ideas, changes, concepts and ministry events.
10. A YM needs a safe sounding board that is invested in the ministry and proven it through service.
11. A YM needs a smaller group (um, lets say about 12) to invest in on a deeper level.
12. Students need peers they can look towards as designated leaders when times are tough or in crisis or personal hurt.
13. A youth ministry team of students provides a safe layer of protection from outside negative attacks in the same way an Adult Leadership Team does for the youth minister during delicate situations or controversial changes.
14. Having a leadership team of youth shifts the emphasis from planning and executing event details to coordinating leadership.
15. Having a leadership team of youth is an investment in future leaders
16. Having a leadership team reduces the risk of burn-out
17. Promotes a greater amount of honest and age-specific evaluation.

It's Biblical
a. Moses delegated due to the sheer demand on his time. (See Exodus 18)
b. The Judges did the same; they delegated tasks inside and outside the temple.
c. The disciples enlisted assistance – Ephesians 4:11-12 to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, not so the saints can help the Minister do his job but so the saints will be equipped to do the true work of the church.

What happens when one person ties to do it all?
1. The maximum that can be done by a single person is limited, it will max out, it will come to a conclusion. You will hit a wall.
2. The disciples and lay-people turned the world upside down after being equipped to do the ministry and set apart.
Lion and Tigers illustration! If a Tiger can beat a lion in battle for food or territory, why is the Lion called the King of the Jungle! Because one-on-one a Tiger will win, but three on three Lions win every time and thus have earned the title King of the Jungle because they work together for success so intelligently. Lions instinctively know how to work together. They instinctively work to defeat their enemies. Lions live in Prides, which is a family group of two or more males and two or more females with several young, and they instinctively join together when they face an enemy. They live, hunt together and protect their families together. What a picture God has given us to model against the enemy and collaborative efforts between families.
IN the case of Student Ministry often, we find a lonely LION working hard but unable to accomplish all that is needed or expected because there is a disconnect from the pride. He is not meant to work, hunt, protect and provide alone but rather he is designed to work in, through and alongside a PRIDE. I think the "pride" is one-part student leadership team and one-part adult leadership team.

A not so cool list of leadership team names
SLT - servant leadership team
SMC - student ministry council
SMAC - student ministry action council
SMAT - student ministry action team
SC - Shepherd’s club
SLT - Servant Leadership Team
SLAT - Servant Leadership Action Team
YC – youth council
YLC – youth leadership council

Is simple church being taken out of context?

2011-10-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

While I applaud this generation of youth ministers in the rediscovery of simplifying and streamlining their ministries, there is a troubling trend afoot. Here is how I see simple church being misinterpreted or misapplied.
1. Simple is not an excuse for doing nothing.
2. Simple is often applied as an alternative to burn-out when the real solution is to apply biblical equipping of the saints.
3. Relabeling your ministry as SIMPLE does not make it more effective.
4. Applying Simple Youth Ministry to an ineffective strategy will accomplish nothing.
5. Doing simple Youth Ministry can accidentally lead to doing less than God has called you to do.
6. Simple is not the same as efficient.
7. Simple is not the same as professional.
Collaborate, streamline, work smarter not harder but please don’t be that misguided trend follower that applies someone else’s plan to a totally different ministry setting due to a lack of training or energy to discover an effective strategy for your situation.
No doubt this generation of student pastors have a difficult challenge in finding ways to reach an increasingly busy, distracted and bored generation of students. Applying some of the principals for simplifying under the less-is-more strategy may be a positive move.

Sensationalism and Agendas

2011-06-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

Ever thought something was not right but you never took the time to prove it?

No doubt you have heard or perhaps even believed and quoted two major youth ministry myths:

Myth #1 - Youth ministers only stay at a church 18 months or less.
Myth #2 - 90% of youth are abandoning their faith after high school.

The fact is, both of these often repeated statistics are simply myths. Several youth ministry experts such as Dr. Wesley Black at South Western Baptist Theological Seminary, Dr. Ken Kageler of NYACK College and Seminary, Dr. Gary Bredfeldt of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Dr. Timothy Paul Jones of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary have documented the false data often repeated by so called "experts". The research behind much of raw data correcting and revealing such false negatives comes from an in-depth research project by Brandon Shields, PhD under the supervision of SBTS professors. So what are the facts? Lets look at an average youth minister in the US. A combination of surveys from approximately 3000 youth ministers reveals the following profile.

33 years old
Remains in a church position 3.9 years.
75% are married
76% are male.
94% have a 2 year college or university degree
49% of those with college degrees are ministry related majors and
42% of those with degrees are in a youth ministry emphasis or major.
62% serve in suburban ministry settings
The majority are Baptist (20%)
38% receive no health insurance benefit;
47% receive no continuing education, auto or travel allowance
43% receive no housing allowance
64% receive no social security contributions
50% receive no budget for professional supplies, resources, or books.
72% percent struggle with feelings of being inadequate or ineffective in ministry.
64% who begin ministry under age 25 with no mentor will leave the ministry in less than 4 years
78.4 % left youth ministry by age thirty-nine
22% left during their twenties
16% left the ministry in less than two years
3.1 years average at a single position
89% said they had considered leaving the ministry
57% said they would leave immediately if they had a better place to go, including secular work.

While the above data is not a glowing testimony of tenure, it does dispel much of the myth regarding 18 months.

Myth #2 Youth Are Leaving the Christian Faith at Alarming Rates

2011-06-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

What about youth leaving the church and abandoning the Christian faith?

The new research conducted at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary shatters the notion that youth are dropping out of church and rejecting Christ at alarming rates.

Despite how some agenda driven ministers have twisted the data to create a "new model" or to "re-think" the traditional model, the data reveals very encouraging news. In fact, the data is so positive (compared to the accepted myth) that those who have been in the trenches over the past decade or two ought to shout in celebration. What is the impetus for this celebration? It is the fact that 88% of students who graduated from conservative Southern Baptist mega-churches with a traditional approach to youth ministry stayed actively involved with church after high school graduation. While this study was conducted among mega-churches, a similarly positive indication can be extended to large, medium and small churches. Also, LifeWay found that while 70% of all denomination youth do "drop out" (attending twice or less per month) after graduation, two thirds of them return in their twenties. Those of us who live in the youth ministry world know that many strong Christian youth go "off the radar" (attending but not being counted) for about a year after graduation. Many times they simply attend but do not join. Other times, they attend on-campus bible studies or worship outlets that are not part of the data being reported. In other cases, youth simply leaver for a period while exploring new found freedom, temporarily relaxing their spiritual disciplines only to return to them after a season. The fact that two thirds our youth return to "active" status is amazing! Combine that with the 30% who were "faithful" is huge cause for celebration!

Surprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian Population

2011-05-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Surprising data from USA Today on Gay Lesbian Population
USA TODAY

The prestigious study (released in March by the National Center for Health Statistics and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) discovered a much smaller number of "gays, lesbians and homosexuals" than generally reported by the news media. While pop-culture frequently cites the figure of one in 10 (based on 60-year-old, widely discredited conclusions from pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey) the new study finds only 1.4% of the population identifying with same-sex orientation.

Moreover, even among those who describe themselves as homosexual or bisexual (a grand total of 3.7% of the 18-44 age group), overwhelming majorities (81%) say they've experienced sex with partners of the opposite gender. Among those who call themselves heterosexual, on the other hand, only a tiny minority (6%) ever engaged in physical intimacy of any kind with a member of the same sex These figure indicate that 94% of those living heterosexual lives felt no physical attraction to members of the same sex, but the great bulk of self-identified homosexuals and bisexuals feel enough intimate interest in the opposite gender to engage in erotic contact at some stage in their development.

In fact, numbers show huge majorities of those who "ever had same sex sexual contact" do not identify long-term as gay. Among women 18-44, for instance, 12.5% report some form of same sex contact at some point in their lives, but among the older segment of that group (35-44), only 0.7% identify as homosexual and 1.1% as bisexual.

In other words, for the minority who may have experimented with gay relationships at some juncture in their lives, well over 80% explicitly renounced homosexual (or even bisexual) self-identification by age of 35. For the clear majority of males (as well as women) who report gay encounters, homosexual activity appears to represent a passing phase, or even a fleeting episode, rather than an unshakable, genetically pre-determined orientation.

The once popular phrase "sexual preference" has been indignantly replaced with the term "sexual orientation" because political correctness now insists there is no factor of willfulness or volition in the development of erotic identity. This may well be the case for the 94% of males and 87% of females (ages 18-44) who have never experienced same-sex contact of any kind and may never have questioned their unwavering straight outlook — an outlook deemed "normal" in an earlier age.

For the less than 2% of men and women who see themselves as gay, however, the issue of sexual orientation remains vastly more complicated. Within a month of the release of the CDC/NCHS report, one of the world's most respected think tanks on gay life confirmed some of its most surprising findings, without specifically referencing the recent government study. UCLA's Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy offered a new estimate of homosexual identification: concluding that 1.7% of Americans say they're gay, and a slightly larger group (1.8%) identified as bisexual — by definition attracted to both genders and shaping their sexual behavior through some mixture of inclination and preference.

Christian Response to OB being stalked and killed

2011-05-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to radio and reading blogs today about the death of OB. I like the exchange taking place in many of the Christian posts but it never surprises me how people who enjoy the comfort of living in a country that actually enforces the Rule of Law and defends its freedom through necessary force, find it offensive to interpret the bible correctly regarding justice, capital punishment or killing during time of war. How much of the OT do progressives want to cut out in order to find their “comfort level” with the inspired, infallible word of God – oops there’s the problem . . . progressive revelation.
Might as well open that hanger door for all those who like to “fly” the plane but can’t seem to land it.
If political correctness creeps any further into the faith community we will have to commission a Universalist or Progressive to write a whole new bible – one that fits our culture and sophisticated, civilized society where no one is offended, left out or held accountable for personal choices - a happy place where everybody gets a trophy and hell is empty.
OK, that was a bit harsh and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s psyche, but I already admitted to being weary of the love, love, love crowd that sounds more often like a boy-band song than someone rightly dividing the word of truth. Some people get so politically correct that they rationalize every point of justice, wrath and vengeance weather a direct hit from the voice/hand of God or indirectly through the results of war. You CAN get so open-minded that your brains fall out.

What if OB’s attack on the WTC had been a home invasion? It would be a different story and harder for liberals to explain why force unto death is objectionable. Story - Repeat offender and known murderer breaks into your home with intent to kill you and your family. But, you are prepared for such a day - one you hoped and prayed would never come – but it did come and rather than falling to your knees to reason with the intruder or squatting in the closet praying over your wife and kids, you took your gun and shot him as evil-incarnate busted down your bedroom door.. No the psycho is not our enemy (as someone will surely remind me) but he is oppressed and controlled by the enemy so much so that the bullet cant tell which one to hit - so I shoot him because the life of my family is my priority and responsibility before God. If it had been a home invasion, my first prayer after emptying my clip into him, would be: “ Thank you God for granting me the mercy of life and for allowing me the terrible success of killing this psycho murdering fanatical religious child made in your image. and Thank you father for sparing the lives of other innocent victims he has sworn to murder (all Americans and Jews) so that they may have the chance to experience salvation before it is too late. Thank you for saving me from death, thank you for sparing my family and thank you that this enemy of humanity and life is dead.

I do not celebrate the addition to hell that surely increased by (1) when OB fulfilled his reservation but I do rejoice in the justice and mercy of God to stop him from perpetuating unspeakable and horrific murder on innocent men, women and children – some of whom undoubtedly left this world without knowing Christ.
Hats off to the Navy Seals and for those who risked their life that we may live in freedom to express our faith – liberal, conservative and everything in between.

OK, that feels better . . .

Family Minister vs Student Pastor

2011-03-10T11:08:00.001-08:00

There is a lot of buzz in the past 5 years about the role of the Student Minister vs. the idea of a Family Pastor doing student ministry.
Perhaps what has given the profession of student minister a bad name and a "call" for change is that many who operated in the past generation under the title of Youth Minister were in reality Directors of Student Activities in the Church. (not an actual title that I am aware of) but the point being that they were neither trained in adolescent ministry nor called by God to be the primary shepherd in "assisting" mom and dad in their biblical responsibility. While there are numerous reasons the "Family" minister replacing the Student Minister is a bad idea I would like to advocate a balanced approach and highlight the fact that many of the minster friends I have from the past 29 years of SM were doing some form of Family based, simple church, purpose driven, relational ministry with a side order of event based ministry activities all along. Family ministry . . . of course, when it can be achieved through willing and capable parents. Show me one single growing, healthy church with more than 50 students operating under a Family Minister title who is successful. Can’t find one? Me either because even those who do have a title promoting family based student ministry end up duplicating many of the same ministry programs and relational components that non-family ministry titled positions do. Why, because no matter what happens in culture - if kids have any say so at all, any discretionary time, any freedom to choose activities, a church will need to provide a platform by which to get their attention, build an atmosphere of acceptance, train their friends to disciple and evangelize and pull parents off the sidelines into a biblical parenting role of chief discipling agent in the family system.
No doubt that many churches need to blow up their so called "student ministry" and start over with a biblical, healthy comprehensive approach to making disciples within the adolescent community. Many more however simply need to refocus their primary attention on making disciples of those God entrust to them and creating an atmosphere where students can connect with caring adults whether they have supportive Jesus following parents or not.
OK, I could go on for about three more chapters but . . . I will close with a prediction that I already see happening. Those churches who abandon the role of the student pastor in favor of a true "family" minister will soon find themselves wondering why all the MS and HS students are hanging out at the church down the street - oh yeah, it’s because they still have a highly trained proficient, facilitating, point person, family advocating, relational, core group building, word preaching student pastor who knows what his job is. And, in years to come, the churches who abandon the Student Pastor position will be easy to identify because they will be the congregations with loads of AARP bumper stickers, plenty of vacant parking spaces next to the student center and no-one sitting in the first 5 rows where all the "young folks" once sat.

Active Listening - A good tool for parents

2011-03-02T10:35:00.000-08:00

Active Listening
Most parents are familiar with the concept and technique known as active listening. The problem arises when the technique gets overused or dismissed in frustration.
I am not an expert in child psychology or communication but when communicating with the adolescent world, AL becomes an an important skill that will help any parent communicate more effectively with their teen.

When you listen actively, you are sending your child the message that they are important enough to have your undivided attention. Many problems can be solved and even prevented when parents and leaders take the time to use active listening. This allows you to play the role of a guide in helping teens hear their feelings expressed and guide them into solving them. It is a practical solutions that when combined withy prayer, creates a very powerful skill.

Try these for simple steps to strengthen this skill.
• Stop what you are doing.
• Look at your child.
• Give your full attention.
• Listen to what is said.
• Comment on what you think you heard.
• Use reframing or retelling techniques.

Parental communication

2011-03-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

I was in Orlando recently for the Youth Pastor's Summit. After day one, I stopped on the way home to meet some guys for a few hot-wings (God's favored food) and arrived a few minutes early. At a nearby booth, a mom was in a dual with her pre-school son. It was escalating by the second and I just knew that little boy was in a count-down to consequences. Any second, I pictured him being snatched from his seat and marched into the "ladies" room for a little "one-on-one time. Any moment, she is going to help him realize how unacceptable it is to speak to his mother that way. Anytime now, he is going to visit the house-of-pain for throwing a fit and yelling at his mother. I felt a reluctant smile ease onto my face as I anticipated this youngster’s moment of “understanding”, the moment it would all become clear. I prayed he would come to his senses before it was too late, before the mommy-hammer came down on his world. But that moment did not come. The next five minutes were painful . . . not painful for the boy but rather for everyone around, painful as we watched the ob-scene unfold.

This mom was trying to reason with her 5yr. old. On the one hand it was comical because she was talking over his head one minute and using a baby-mommy talk the next. Mostly it was sad because everyone (but mommy) seem to know that the moment of "reason" (which is extremely limited at 5yrs) came an left with the loud response:"NO, I WONT" and "I HATE YOU" spewing from his lips. Now let me say up front that I admit to having a lack of appreciation for and limited tolerance with the "whinese" language, baby-talk and cowardice parenting that would rather befriend their child than parent them.

Since I am not a child psychologist or counselor, you can place this in your parenting for idiots file, hit delete or consider the practical lesson for parents. Where was I, yes: (waiting for my buds and dreaming of 10 mild wings with ranch dressing) The 5yr old was winning the battle of the will and the mom was attempting to deal with his behavior like a husband and wife might discuss a difference of opinion over wold events.
You have got to be kidding me! It took all I could do not to get up, go over to their table, ease into the booth seat next to the boy, smile at the young mom and say - have YOU LOST YOUR MIND? ARE YOU REALLY THIS CLUELESS? Do you truly think that you can reason with a 5 year old? Do you think this approach is going to develop a healthy respect for authority or a better awareness that actions have consequences? Do you really expect this to do the job? Do you think he is reasonable at this age? Do you think he is going to agree to your terms and conditions for acceptable behavior without it costing him something more than “mommy is not happy with you right now . . . Quinton” ? My heart went out to her because I could see that she was a single parent mom with her hands full and . . . I've been there (ok, not there or as a single parent, but in a public place with an unhappy child on my hands).

Somewhere in the parenting process she had bought into some form of politically correct, liberal parenting style that says: "I don’t want to hurt his little psyche" or "lets be friends and reason this thing out together" or “if I spank him, someone might be offended”, or “if I get firm with him, it might harm his self esteem”. I wanted to tell her to hold the line, stand strong and be willing to be disliked or the object of ill feelings for a short while. I wanted so bad for her to say: "OK, look here young man, if you don’t straighten up we are going to take a little trip to the ladies room and it will not be so you can pee pee". Or, "if you don’t stop this right now, we are going to leave without you getting lunch and when we get home, you are going to get a whuppin to help you understand what is ok and what is not".
I wanted to tell her that this little boy does not need you to be his friend nearly as much as he needs you to be his rock. His rock of defense, his rock of offense and his rock of steadfast unconditional love. Dr. James Dobson has an old book called "Parenting isn't for Cowards" and I would love to place a copy into her hands. She needs it, I needed it, we all need help to parent. My kids are grown now so I can confess my many mistakes along the way but one thing I do know is that PARENTING is hard work. Loving your child enough to PARENT WELL requires a lot more than being liked, reasoning out behavior, everyone being happy and peace without battles. Parenting is messy, wonderful, painful and incredible and by God's grace Christian parents can contribute to a sturdy generation-next.
So what . . . ? So . . . stand strong and parent well in the grace of Jesus. For parents, it is a high calling to take very serious. For student pastors, it is a needed ministry to the parents of those you lead.

BTW, the 5 year old must have won because he did not have to sit down, he did get to order exactly what he wanted, she did give him money for the video games, he did not have to eat what she had paid for and he continued to be belligerent but . . . he was kind enough to use his “inside” voice.
Good luck parent . . . I mean, mom. Maybe the student pastor can “fix” him for you when he reaches middles school . . . if you will drop him off at youth group or sign him up for camp . . . . if that makes him happy . . . or if your not too tired or if you have enough money after sports camp, vacation and summer entertainment.

What do students expect at church?

2011-02-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

We can be tempted to think that students really do not care about what happens at church. After all, they are the post-modern, post-sacrificial, post-caring generation that don't give a rip. However, I find that many students do care, do want input and do have expectations.
I like what Barna reveals in the following results:

What expectations do teens have about attending church? What do they expect from the time they "invest" ?

45% Worship or make a connection with God.
42% Better understand what I believe
34% Spend time with friends
34% Get encouraged or inspired
30% Volunteer to help others.

What do teens learn from their experiences in church? (top four answers)

65% Moral and ethical standards
62% Relationships
55% Faith traditions
50% Personal evangelism

A Few Student Ministry Stats

2011-01-25T16:42:00.000-08:00

•88% of children raised in Christian families leave church at the age of 18, never to return (SBC).
•A majority of adults no longer consider Christianity America’s default faith (Barna).
•64% of decisions for Christ are made before the age of 18, and 77% are made before the age of 21 (Barna).
•An estimated 4% of the “bridger” generation, or Gen Y, will be Bible-believing Christians when they reach adulthood. Their grandparents’ generation: 65%. Their parents’ generation: 35%. (Bridger Generation by Thom S. Rainer).
•A student ministry that provides outwardly focused ministries keep 61% of students compared to 47% of those who do not. (Rainer)
•A student ministry that provides mission action as a componant of regular ministry will keep 11% more students than those who do not.(Rainer)

Cell Phone Rescue

2010-11-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a commercials for a Smart Phone that will actually "save" you from your cell phone. The commercial is sort of cool but I am not sure a phone can cure our generation of this present "connection" epidemic. Yes, epidemic because some people do not have any will-power or edicate when it comes to their cell.

The implication from the commercial is that people are so attached to their phones for daily scheduling, life style data, social networking, on the job communication and customized information resource that they need rescuing from their phone.

I have watched people walk through parking lots with eyes glued to a 3.5" screen so focused that their life was endangered from reasonable motorist.
I see moms who cant give attention to their children because "every" phone call must be answered. Like a speed dialing tornado they multi-task between text, talk and taxi service; conquering the day like a professional cell-mate. I watch dads who look like corporate phone zombies- dead to all that is around them except the life umbilical of of the blackberry or iphone. They have no willpower over the ring - and the little league game soon turns into a after hours sales call.

Phone Etiquette: don't get me started. I would love to tap the guy on the shoulder in the booth next to me at lunch and say: Hey buddy, yeah you with the blue tooth in your ear - do you mind taking that call outside where no one gives a crap. Does the concept of "common space" mean anything in the book of courtesy anymore?

BTW . . . the blue tooth is not really all that cool anymore, so lets all agree that we can remove the little blue-light-blinkers unless driving. Besides, walking around Walmart or the local lunch deli talking to yourself no longer impresses whoever it is that needs impressing - unless the person is sporting a "mullet" cut and still gets a excited when Billy Ray sings Achey Breaky.

Are smart phones really that great? Yes, just ask my digital assistant on my iphone. The apps are amazing! Besides keeping me informed, they make me appear Geek-Squad approved.
But, do we need rescuing . . . I think so . . . but the newest phone out there will not be able to rescue us.
A simple exercise of self-control and discipline will do the trick.
So here is some Rocket Science - Put the phone down. Leave the call for later. Let your kids see you decide NOT to take the call because your with them. Wait on that reply text. Give the kids in the family taxi your full attention. And for heaven sakes . . . stop texting and driving before you KILL SOMEBODY!
PS the verdict is still out on Voice-to-Text apps while driving :)

4 Great Books for Student Ministry Development

2010-11-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

Every minister must make time to do a little continuing Ed reading about Culture, Management and how to be successful in Student Ministry for the long-haul. Below are a few good books to add to your personal library.

1. Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers by Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton
2. unCHRISTIAN: What a new generation really thinks about Christianity . . . and why it matters by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons (Research from the Barna Group)
3. Student Ministry and the SUPREMACY of CHRIST by Richard Ross
4. Almost Christian: What the faith of our teenagers is telling the American Church by Kendra Creasy Dean

Student Minister Tenure

2010-10-04T13:42:00.000-07:00

Most of us have heard it quoted that the average length of a youth minister's stay at any one church is a year and a half. Even though this little stat has been a staple food among church chatters for a long time it should be put to rest.

A research group has went on record to help put an end to the 18 month myth. The newest research shows the average paid student ministry leader remains at their church for 3.9 years. What an improvement real data can make to the perception of student ministry gypsies.

While this is encouraging information, lets not begin the dance too soon. We need to keep in mind that the life expectancy of a professional quarterback is 6.9 years and the life expectancy of a full time student pastor is just 6.8 years.

Have you ever stopped to think about how much the two jobs have in common?
1. They are both glorious and grand jobs.
2. No one cares what you did last year. Its this season, this semester that counts.
3. Everyone knows the right play to call for each situation. Monday morning brings everything to light.
4. Everyone knows what your signing bonus was.
5. The weight of the team is upon your shoulders.
6. The owner reserves the right to interfere with the management and coaching.
7. The fans can be fickle.
8. The pay scale and off season are nearly identical (OK,just the first seven)

Seven Parenting No No's

2010-05-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

The following tips may sound elementary but often I encounter parents violating several basic parenting rules. Sense we all need help with some area of parenting, I thought I would share the most common and essential Do's and Don'ts of parenting.

1. Never ridicule a child in front of others. Deal with discipline in private unless it is absolutely unavoidable. In such cases, apologize for having to deal with it here and now.

2. Do not call a child a name, even if it they completely define the name you are using. Believe me, I have called hundreds of children and teens unflattering names under my breath. Then I pray for God to help me hold my tongue and prevent them from reading my mind.

3. Under no circumstances should an adult ever bully their child. I am talking about being physically overpowering for display or compliance in a non-caring manner.

4. Refrain from saying “no” simply because you don’t want to be bothered or for no reason.

5. Never gossip about your child or other children. Sharing confirmed information that will help someone or prevent something terrible from occurring is not gossip. Sharing half truths and rumors about other children is!

6. Stay under control. Do not scream, shout or threaten your child. You can get the same results by being deliberate, firm and forceful but doing so calmly.

7. Don’t resort to using the silent treatment to punish or withhold your love.

Of course this list is not exhaustive, but violating any of the seven will surly devalue a child while at the same time push them towards the wrong crowd, where they will feel valued.
Why is watching what you say to your kids a big deal? Because deflating words will lead to critical, deflated and insecure kids. So, tame the tongue or zip the lip but don’t excuse it!

Teenagers and Lying

2010-02-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

Mark Gregston offers some quick insights into students and a trend in lying.
The latest “Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth” (by the Josephson Institute of Ethics) shows that teens are lying more often, and more easily, than ever.

Dishonesty may seem like a minor issue in comparison to other adolescent problems like drug abuse or sexual promiscuity, but it is a vice that parents should never ignore or allow to creep into the teen’s lifestyle.

Dishonesty is rooted in an attitude of disrespect; disrespect for others, for authority, and for your family’s values. It won’t go away with the mere passage of time. It will reappear at significant stress points in your child’s life, and that can land them in real trouble. So, deal immediately with every instance of dishonesty today, and you’ll be avoiding bigger problems tomorrow.

Discipline & Consequences

2010-02-04T18:56:00.000-08:00

Discipline and Consequences
Discipline is when we as parents apply punishment in order to gain control of situation, influence behavior, shape someones future actions or enforce obedience to a system of rules.
Consequences are outcomes that can be either negative or positive resulting from a person’s action. An average person, by nature will naturally strive towards positive outcomes. We tend to gauge our behavior based on the positive or negative outcomes we experience. When disciplining teenagers, experts will point out two types of consequences to focus on: natural and logical. Both types can be positive or negative.
A quick look into each:
Natural consequences obviously occur . . . uh, naturally. In other words, they are consequences that are not created or manipulated by anyone. For example, if you are careless with a hammer and you hit your thumb, it will hurt, possibly swell and turn blue. If on the other hand, you plant a tulip seed, nurture it with water and sunlight, you will naturally observe the blooming of a beautiful flower.

Logical consequences, on the other hand are situations created by someone in a position of authority and are logically connected to the wrong. We think of it as logical because it fits or matches the outlined offense. For example, if your teen does not clean up their bedroom, he/she will not be allowed to go with friends Friday night. On the other hand, if he/she finishes raking the yard by Friday, use of the family car will be provided for a weekend outing.

We want our children to learn from their mistakes, but we have the choice of allowing our children to face natural consequences or impose logical ones. But how do you choose between the two types of consequences? When is one more effective than the other?
When natural consequences are immediate they are the most effective. Too often though, natural consequences are not immediate or either they are too dangerous to allow. For example, texting while driving could produce serious consequences. Not wearing a seat belt when driving may or may not result in a less immediate natural consequence. Both are important but pose a decision for parents. In both, natural consequences aren’t what a parent should use to teach their teen the responsibility of their own safety and it is up to the parents to sort out a logical consequence that will promote the desired behavior – in this instance not running into the street without looking or wearing a seatbelt.
Another instance of when logical consequences will be more effective than natural consequences is while your teen is getting a high school education. The benefits of good grades in school are so far off into the future that teens do not fully comprehend them. While your teen can repeat what he/she has been told: ‘good grades will get you into a good college and you’ll make more money’, until he/she sees the type of job or paycheck a college education can get, he/she will not understand the difference. Logical consequences, including rewards for good grades and privileges taken for poor grades work best as your teen can fully understand these.
There are times when the natural consequence is the better choice for the parent to make. One excellent example is when your teen is dating or making friends. Finding out what type of person your teen wants to be with and how your teen wants to be treated is going to be his/her choice. Dating or making friends with someone who isn’t his/her type is going to show that to him/her. Barring any mistreatment from a friend or a date, parents will need to hold their tongue and refrain from giving their opinions in order to let the natural consequences – positive or negative – happen.
Discipline choices are never easy. Hopefully knowing the difference between natural and logical consequences will help you make the right choices for you and your teen.
IS

Tune em up!

2009-11-16T12:01:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Child Rescue - my passion comes to fruition

2009-10-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 1:17 gives us a clear mandate: Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case for the widow. Isaiah is pleading with a nation and generation who was blind to the plight and suffering of their fellow human beings. Not that our cause is to be social antidote to the world’s hurts but much more. We, by our actions and response to human suffering, are to introduce Christ to the forgotten and invisible. Through meeting basic human needs, rescuing the oppressed and bringing freedom to the captive, the hopeless learn trust, the faithless discover belief, and the helpless gain assurance while the love of Christ is demonstrated. What we do in the name of Christ gives us a platform from which the lost may know, hear and see the love of Christ amidst an evil and dehumanizing enemy.

A huge passion of SME is to assist with intervention and relief projects that relieve the suffering of countless international children and teens.

I like the story of the starfish:

A man was walking on the beach after a storm and witnessed thousands of starfish washed up on shore. He sat down and pondered how helpless they were out of water and that most all would eventually die from sun exposure. He then observed another beach walker who had come upon the same scene. But this man was bending over, picking up starfish and throwing them back into the sea. The first man spoke up saying: Why are you doing that? You do realize that your efforts are incidental and meaningless among so many. What you are doing makes no difference in the big picture. The man bent over and picked up another starfish and as he turned to throw it into the sea, he said: it certainly makes a difference to this one!

There are so many children being exploited around the globe, how can you make a difference - one human being at a time. Your efforts in caring make take many forms, but multiplied in the hands of God will make all the difference in the world to the one God uses you to rescue. Perhaps God has chosen you to be some little girl or boys answer to prayer. Just because you can’t do everything, should never prevent you from dong something!

Just because my kids are safe and your kids are safe, does not mean the rest of the world's kids are safe. In fact, human trafficking, child sex trade, slave labor and child soldiers have been steadily increasing over the past decade.

Child Rescue seeks to provide direct support through personal involvement, financial assistance, and increased awareness to accomplish a threefold purpose.

1. Direct Victim Relief: CR supplies direct and collaborative assistance to those striving for the immediate relief and rescue of child slaves and sex trade victims.

2. Victim Care: CR helps sponsor transitional counseling and skills training for those who have been rescued from the hands of evil. CR provides support to rehab centers and shelters who are involved in the tender job of salvaging, reshaping and transforming the lives of victims so that they may experience the transforming power of Christ from the inside out and return to a productive new life in Christ.

3. Community Awareness: The simple truth is this; no Christian can hear, see or know what is happening every hour of every day and feel no compulsion to do something. Maybe you feel led to pray, others to give, still others to carry the torch of awareness and mobilization. Get your church, school or youth group involved by in some way, on some level and see what God will produce through your efforts.

Examples of Exploitative Activity

Sexual Abuse
Slavery
Human Trafficking (abduction, forced prostitution or labor)
Child/Teen soldiers

Some people just dont get it . . .

2009-09-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Teenagers and Eating Disorders

2009-08-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

At a recent Parent Conference, a single mom of a 9th grade girl pulled me aside to talk during the break. She wanted to know how she might identify the symptoms of teenage eating disorders. Not being a psychiatrist, Nutritional expert or medical doctor, I gave her a few quick insights and told her I would have to get back to her. (yes, there was the tired part of me that wanted to tell her to google or bing it for herself) But seeing the desperation and pain in her eyes, the Student Pastor side won out. Later that week and after a little research, I sent her the following notes and encouraged her to seek professional help from a trained counselor who specializes in treating teenagers addictive or destructive behavior.

Destructive eating habits can be related stress, tension, poor nutritional habits and cultural food fads. Unfortunately, the issue of eating disorders are relatively common problems for today's teenagers.
According to several studies, eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia, are on the increase among teenage girls and young women. They study also shows that the problem tends to run in families. In the US, it is estimated that 10% of young women suffer from an eating disorder. While eating disorders also occur in boys, there are much fewer cases and not as difficult to treat.

The below notes are a good reminder for all of us. Sooner or later we will have to pray with a parent and youth who is in deep trouble from food . . . or the lack of it.
The two main disorders, anorexia nervosa and bulimia are characterized by a preoccupation with food and a distortion of body image. Sadly, one of the dangers les in the fact that most teenagers hide these serious and sometimes fatal disorders from their families and friends.
Symptoms and warning signs of anorexia nervosa and bulimia include the following:
• A teenager with anorexia nervosa is typically a perfectionist and a high achiever in school. At the same time, she suffers from low self-esteem, irrationally believing she is fat regardless of how thin she becomes. Desperately needing a feeling of mastery over her life, the teenager with anorexia nervosa experiences a sense of control only when she says "no" to the normal food demands of her body. In a relentless pursuit to be thin, the girl starves herself. This often reaches the point of serious damage to the body, and in a small number of cases may lead to death.
• The symptoms of bulimia are usually different from those of anorexia nervosa. The patient binges on huge quantities of high-caloric food and/or purges her body of dreaded calories by self-induced vomiting and often by using laxatives. These binges may alternate with severe diets, resulting in dramatic weight fluctuations. Teenagers may try to hide the signs of throwing up by running water while spending long periods of time in the bathroom. The purging of bulimia presents a serious threat to the patient's physical health, including dehydration, hormonal imbalance, the depletion of important minerals, and damage to vital organs.
With comprehensive treatment, most teenagers can be relieved of the symptoms or helped to control eating disorders. The child and adolescent psychiatrist is trained to evaluate, diagnose, and treat these psychiatric disorders. Treatment for eating disorders usually requires a team approach; including individual therapy, family therapy, working with a primary care physician, working with a nutritionist, and medication. Many adolescents also suffer from other problems; including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. It is important to recognize and get appropriate treatment for these problems as well.
Research shows that early identification and treatment leads to more favorable outcomes. Parents who notice symptoms of anorexia or bulimia in their teenagers should ask their family physician or pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
AND lest we forget where true power lies . . . read Ezra 10:4 "Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."

Features of Three Stages of Adolescent Development

2009-08-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

Table 1: Key Features of the Three Stages of Adolescent Development
Aspect of
Development Early Adolescence
Ages 10-13 Middle Adolescence
Ages 14-16 Late Adolescence
Ages 17-19
Physical • Significant physical/ sexual maturation
• Intense concern with body image • Continuing physical/ sexual changes
• Less concern with body image • Physical/ sexual changes complete
• Greater acceptance of physical appearance
Cognitive • Concrete thinking • Growth of capacity to think abstractly • Capacity for abstract thought in place
Emotional • Growing independence in decision-making • Development pf sense of identity
• Exploration of ability to attract partners begins • Sense of identity established
Social • Increasing influence of peers
• Feeling attracted to others begins • Enormous influence of peers/school environment
• Increase in sexual interest • Family influence more in balance with peer influence
• Serious intimate relationships begin to develop
• Transition to work, college, independent living
Behavioral • Experimenting with new ways of behaving begins • Risk-taking behavior • Capacity for realistic risk assessment
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Developmental Tasks
Adolescents face the major task of creating stable identities and becoming complete and productive adults (Perkins, Adolescence: Developmental Tasks, 2001). They take on this task in small steps along the way as they adapt to the changes they experience. These steps are themselves significant challenges and are listed in Table 2, adapted from Perkins (2001), Stroufe (1988), and American Psychological Association (2002):
________________________________________

Table 2: Reaching Adolescent Developmental Goals
Developmental Goal Reaching the Goal: Facts and Tips
Achieve new level of closeness and trust with peers. Adolescents learn through experimentation to interact with others in more adult ways.
Gain independence from parents and develop new status within the family. Change is smoother if adolescents and their parents agree on some level of independence that increases over time. Example: Setting curfew times that increase as the adolescent matures and demonstrates responsible behavior.
Develop a sense of personal identity. New cognitive abilities give adolescents the chance to reflect on who they are and what makes them unique. Adults can help adolescents in this quest by:
• Engaging them with non-threatening questions, such as: Who do you admire? What do you like to do in your free time? What do you consider to be your strengths? What have you done in your life that you feel proud of?
• Casually showing rational decision-making strategies, such as discussing how someone you know defined a problem, generated options, anticipated outcomes, and made a decision.
• Discussing ethical and moral problems that are in the news.
Move toward autonomy in the larger world. Adolescents need to begin to explore what will be their place in the world. Adults can help them to gain insightful experience by encouraging them to:
• Take on more responsibility in schoolwork and school-related activities.
• Get involved in community activities.
• Hold part-time or summer jobs.
• Develop future goals.
• Examine career/educational options.
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Four Major Questions Facing Adolescents
The growth of one's intellect from concrete to abstract thinking makes adolescence an intense time of self-discovery. In their quest to define themselves and their relationship to the world, adolescents begin to ask themselves four basic abstract questions (Perkins, "Adolescence: The Four Questions," 2001):
• Who am I? (pertaining to his or her sexuality and social roles)
• Am I normal? (Do I fit in with a certain crowd?)
• Am I competent? (Am I good at something that is valued by peers and parents?)
• Am I lovable and loving? (can someone besides Mom and Dad love me?)
Adults who work with adolescents need to recognize that these questions are quite central to the concerns of adolescents and should give them a chance to explore their own beliefs and find their own answers to these questions. Guidelines for assisting adolescents in their quest to answer each of these questions follow in Table 3 (Perkins, 2001).
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________________________________________
Table 3: Four Major Questions Facing Adolescents — Guidelines for Adults
Question Guidelines for Adults
Who am I? • Give them the freedom to explore their world. Only then can adolescents begin to answer this question.
Am I normal? • Give them room to be like their peers. Fitting in with peers helps adolescents feel "normal."
• Monitor youth activities by using the four "W" questions:
o Where are you going?
o With whom are you going?
o What are you doing?
o When will you be home?
Am I competent? • Assist adolescents with their problems and challenges but do not solve them.
• Ask questions instead of telling, such "What are some things you could do?"
• Guide but do not direct.
Am I lovable and loving? Adolescents develop best when they have supportive families and community life that include:
• Warmth and mutual respect.
• Serious and lasting interest of parents and other adults.
• Adult attention to the changes they are experiencing.
• Clear standards regarding discipline and close supervision.
• Communication of high expectations for achievement and ethical behavior.
• Democratic ways of dealing with conflict.

Communication Skills

2009-08-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

Active Listening
Most parents are not ignorant of the concept and technique known as active listening. The problem arises when you overuse it or dismiss it in frustration. As an important skill for every parent and should be mastered. When you listen actively, you are sending your child the message that they are important enough to have your undivided attention. Many problems can be solved and even prevented when parents and leaders take the time to use active listening. This allows you to play the role of guide in helping teens be able to guide children into solving his/her problem with practical solutions and prayer.
Try these for simple steps to strengthen this skill.
• Stop what you are doing.
• Look at your child.
• Give your full attention.
• Listen to what is said.
• Comment on what you think you heard. Use reframing or retelling techniques.

Remember, don’t overdo it. Don’t over animate your expression and don’t sound as if you are doing this to step down to a less mature level.

Adolescence: The Last Step Before Becoming An Adult

2009-08-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

Adolescence: The Last Step Before Becoming An Adult
All children will journey through several developmental stages on their road to adulthood. Sometimes these stages look more like steps that must be completed before continuing on. For most (there are always rare exceptions) there are four or five such stages of growth where kids learn and model certain things. 1. Infancy (birth to age two), 2. Early childhood (ages 3 to 8 years), 3. Later childhood (ages 9 to 12) and 4. Adolescence (ages 13 to 18). Sometimes there is more of a distinct stage between later childhood and adolescence called pre-adolescence (age 13-14). But for most the basic four are propionate and distinct. In most countries and especially in the US, anyone 18 and over are considered adults in society. While some try to prolong their adolescence, others try to achieve it too quickly. On average, we all grew up and are growing up in this same pattern.
Parents typically will learn how to take care of their baby and young children from reading, observing and examples in their life. At the hospital or with the doctor, you might pick up information about what to feed them or how long they should sleep. Later, school faculty may remind you about the importance of talking and reading to your young children. You can also see how your friends or relatives treat their kids. You cannot say the same thing about learning to talk with teenagers (adolescents). It seems like everyone, even teachers and neighbors have difficulty relating to and understanding today’s students. Some give up and give in by simply doing and saying the same things your parents did at that age. Caution: those were different times!
You can begin to understand and relate to this age group much more effectively if you remind yourself where this group of people are in the overall growth sequence. Remember that fall right next to the adult stage, the last step before being an adult. Simple, but often we adults forget that even though they might look like, dress like and talk like an adult (at least when they want to) that they are NOT yet adults.
During this pre-adult stage, teens are trying to determine their future. Will I attend college or where will I attend college. What will I do for work? Will I have a family? Will I get married? Will I get rich or will I be poor? What tragedies will I face? The point is: that one of the first major steps towards healthy independence is that teens must start making their own decisions. There must be a gradual separation and restraint from rescueing and deciding for them when something big is at stake. Of course if the decsions and lessons could be learned with the same influence without consequences, we parents would opt for that. We don’t want to see our kids in pain but it is necessary for healthy development. To do this they must put a little distance between themselves and their parents. This does not mean that you can't continue to ``look after them'' or help them when needed. You should, as much as possible, let them learn from the results of their actions. Example: they no longer want to go to youth group because “everyone is in middle school” or “I don’t get anything out of it” or “none of my friends go”. OK, listen up parents! This is not an example of giving them space. They may miss occasionally due to conflicts with youth group but the vast majority of the time they need to be connected to their youth group every week! Not monthly, weekly. One day you might need that support group called Youth Ministry – and then it is too late to slap it all together and it be adequate. Keep that as a non-option in the game of distance and freedom. Let their decision space be in the area of savings, spending, flexible times for curfew with good track record, choice of family outings, etc.
Remember, adolescents also need to be around other adults, both male and female. Don’t negate the important influence of grandparents, relatives, neighbors, coaches or teachers. Of course, they should be positive role models. Your teenagers can learn from them about things like how to fix the car, getting along with others, responsibility, family systems or ideas for future jobs. Finally, don't worry if they want to spend time alone. Adolescents can kill lots of minutes day dreaming about their future life. However, make sure that the same minutes of freedom are not outnumbering their constructive minutes. A good statement you can use to declare to your teenager as a way of thinking, working, prioritizing and living is: What do I NEED to do before I do what I WANT to do.
Life is good, Live well!

Managing Summertime Access to Technology

2009-08-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

MEDIA MATTERS

Managing your kid’s summertime access to technology.

The availability of technology in today’s culture forces us to choose who is allowed access to our home and our children and with what parameters that access is granted. During the summer when school is out and kids have more free time, the decisions regarding media and managing it are even more crucial.

PARENTING TIPS

1. BE VIGILANT: Be alert and pro-active when considering the technology diet of your children. Ie: Know the ratings, research the content and consider the message.

2. GET SMART: Face it, our culture is dangerous. The “I am not tech savvy” mentality or “I don’t have time to learn that” attitude is no longer affordable. Learn how to navigate Parental Controls. If you are technologically challenged, recruit a techy friend as a tutor or visit the Geek Squad.

3. PROMOTE DIALOGUE: Turn your monitoring minutes into teachable moments by engaging your children about questionable messages, language or images. Focus on asking open ended questions that lead to scriptural principals on which they can stand.

4. OFFER A BALANCED DIET: Two hours with the X-Box can be countered by two chapters in a summer reading assignment. A TV show or movie may be complimented by a family game or group activity. Be careful that your child does not become addicted to the indoors. Being creative with family outings, camps and vacation can lead to a healthy respect for and understanding of God’s creation.

5. SET BOUNDARIES: Kids need concrete parameters. Even amidst objection and complaints, kids crave a concrete parameter from which to operate. Verbal instruction will suffice for most guidance, but for best results, consider communicating your expectations in writing.

Summer can be as challenging for parents as it is fun for kids, but applying a few practical tips can make it more enjoyable for everyone.

A few helpful websites:

Ÿ www.familysafemedia.com Ÿ www. tvboss.org

Ÿ www.focusonthefamily.com Ÿ www. tvguidelines.org

Ÿ www.safeeyes.com Ÿ www. pluggedinonline.com

Leadership Style

2009-06-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Dictator, Winger or Equipper?

In ministry, you are of course called upon to lead, manage, mentor and guide. It is interesting to observe the variety of leadership styles that exist among ministers.
Most student leaders will readily claim they are Equippers, but my observation suggest that it is a mixed bag of nuts. Often I see a hybrid or adaptation that is effective in some form but too often a form of leadership emerges that is something less biblical, effective or fruitful.
The Dictator is recognized for the following management characteristics.
1. Rule #1 - I lead, you follow, I am the boss, you serve Christ by serving me.
2. Prefers managing paid staff such as ministry assistants of interns rather than volunteers.
3. Personal loyalty is highly regarded and highly rewarded

The WINGER is characterized by:
1. The thrill of spontinaity
2. The excitement of the unknown or unplanned
3. The "lets play it by ear" phylosophy.

The EQUIPPER is characterized by
1. The joy that comes from seeing voluntees become ministry leaders.
2. The excitement of not being in charge of details and minsitry tasks
3. Ministry initiatives dedicated to developing disciple/ministers rather than managing events.
4. Prioritizing time according to those ministry tasks that require a ministr to accomplish.

May we all strive to be equippers of saints rather than directors of positions.

"The Holiness of God" by RC Sproul

2009-04-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

The following is a reprint of notes sent to me from my youngest son Jarred
I like it . . . a lot

(Dad check out these excerpts from the book I'm reading, "The Holiness of God", by RC Sproul- I HIGHLY recommend the book!)
__________________________________________________________________
Hans Kung, the controversial Roman Catholic theologian, writing about the seemingly harsh judgments of sin God makes in the Old Testament, says that the most mysterious aspect of the mystery of sin is not that the sinner deserves to die, but rather that the sinner in the average situation continues to exist.

Kung asks the right question. The issue is not why does God punish sin, but why does He permit the ongoing rebellion of man? What prince, what king, what ruler would manifest so much patience with a continually rebellious populace?

The key to Kung's observation is that he speaks of sinners continuing to live in the average situation. That is, it is customary or usual for God to be gracious. He is indeed long-suffering, patient and slow to anger. In fact He is so slow to anger that when His anger does erupt we are shocked and offended by it. We forget rather quickly that God's patience is designed to lead us to repentance, to give us time to be redeemed. The SUPREME FOLLY IS THAT WE THINK WE WILL GET AWAY WITH OUR REVOLT.

We must face the difficult question of the the quest for the "Promised Land". There God explicitly commanded the slaughter of men, women, and children. The Promised Land was given to Israel by a bloody sword, a sword dripping with the blood of infants and women. God directly issued the order for the bloodbath:

"1 When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you- 2 and when the LORD your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. [a] Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy." (Deuteronomy 7:1-2)

WHY DID GOD issue such a command? How could He have ordered the slaughter of women and children? People are always attempting to soften this event! Curriculum for students try to explain that in light of the New Testament revelation of God's love we know that God did not ever issue such a belligerent command... The Old Testament is merely the record of a primitive warlike group of Hebrews who tried to justify ruthless policies by attrubuting them to a divine sanction.

These kind of interpretations overlook some vital aspects of the matter. First, there is a historical precedent that is far more severe than the conquest of Canaan- THE FLOOD. In the Flood God destroyed the entire population of the world except for Noah and his family. The Flood was a "conquest of Canaan" on a grand scale. More important is the failure to understand the nature of sin. The assumption of most people (including myself before God revealed these 'nuggets' to me), is that God wiped out INNOCENT people in Canaan. In fact there were NO INNOCENT women or children in Canaan. The conquest of Canaan was an explicit expression of God's RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT on a wicked nation. He made that point clear to Israel. He also made it clear to ISRAEL that she was also not innocent. It was not as if God destroued a wicked people for the sake of a righteous people. To the Canaanites God poured out justice. To the Jews God poured out mercy.

"4 After the LORD your God has driven them out before you, do not say to yourself, "The LORD has brought me here to take possession of this land because of my righteousness." No, it is on account of the wickedness of these nations that the LORD is going to drive them out before you. 5 It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land; but on account of the wickedness of these nations, the LORD your God will drive them out before you, to accomplish what he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. 6 Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people." (Deuteronomy 9:4-6)

God did not choose Israel because Israel was already holy. He chose them to make them holy. God ordained a scorched-earth policy to purge the land for future salvation. THIS is "Holy Justice".

(These are excerpts from the book I'm reading, "The Holiness of God", by RC Sproul- I HIGHLY recommend this book!)

Top Three Complaints I hear about Student Leaders

2009-04-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I began to take the opportunity to survey pastor, staff, volunteers, interns and others connected to Student Ministry. The dialogue became an eye opener for me. Not really a shock but the consistency of feelings and target of much frustration began to show with clarity.
Below I have highlighted the basic form of my findings from the the survey question: What do you find is the most challenging aspect of your relationship to your student minister.

Ranked in order by greatest frustration/challenge response.

1. From the Pastor: he/she doesn't communicate
2. From Parents of Youth: he/she doesn't communicate
3. Other Staff: he/she operates as a lone ranger
4. Acquaintances: he/she is too busy for anything else

FACEBOOK NATION

2009-03-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

OK, so if you are not a FACEBOOK kind of person, you are going to feel a bit antiquated in the world of adolescents. Since I saw this coming many years back (ok, so Walt Mueller told me about it), I joined Facebook just to see what others were doing. It felt like I was graduating from MySpace with the tassle turned to a whole new world openning up.

Confession, The fastest way to reach me is still on my mobile phone (24/7 except for a 1hr. work-out & 2 min. shower), next is by texting me, next an email and finally Facebook. I would catogorize myself as a cultural user - ie: dont really need it, like it but could do without it. Usefull, yes, worth the upkeep - not so much. But hey, if you want to be culturally relevant and teach others who work with students to at least give the apperarenc of relevancy, you gotta be on Facebook - at least until twitter becomes a household name. So, for now we are a Facebook nation with a Twitter curiosity. I would not mind having one less thing to learn in our every changing culture of technology

We are ministering to: The Most Connected, Yet most alone Generation in history. How is that the case when they seem to be connected to everything and everyone? Because students today are connected electronically rather than being connected relationally.

A bit of Facebook trivia to make you feel relevant!

Facebook, formerly The Facebook, is a free-access social networking website that is operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc. The website's name refers to the paper facebooks depicting members of a campus community that some Universities and prep schools give to incoming students, faculty, and staff as a way to get to know other people on campus.

Mark Zucherberg founded Facebook while he was a student at Harvard University. Website membership was initially limited to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges and Stanford Univeristy. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over. The website currently has more than 175 million active users worldwide.

It is estimated that 13 percent of Facebook customers access the site using their phones.

Facebook already has applications on devices such as Apple's iPhone and the BlackBerry, which let users post updates and send messages to their friends. The company is working with phone makers to tie Facebook more closely to mobile devices, allowing users to merge their phone contacts with their Facebook friends.

Who knows one day, we may not even have Deacon's Meetings, we might just Facebook our thoughts on the Wall!

Barna.org Challenges us with Stats

2009-03-25T07:38:00.001-07:00

What expectations do teens have about attending church?

45% Worship or make a connection with God.
42% Better understand what I believe
34% Spend time with friends
34% Get encouraged or inspired
30% Volunteer to help others.

What do teens learn from their experiences in church? (top four answers)

65% Moral and ethical standards
62% Relationships
55% Faith traditions
50% Personal evangelism

Prayer . . . Essential

2009-03-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

"A man may study because his brain is hungry for knowledge, even Bible knowledge. But he prays because his soul is hungry for God." - Leonard Ravenhill

My oldest son is part of a prayer group of men. I thought I would share with you an adapted version of his encouragement to them, to me and now to you.

John Piper reminds us about a pressing and essential ingredient to life in his book: Let the Nations Be Glad.

"Until you know that life is war, you cannot know what prayer is for. What have millions of Christians done? We have stopped believing that we are in a war. No urgency, no watching, no vigilance. No strategic planning. Just easy peace and prosperity. And what did we do with our war-time walkie-talkie (prayer line to God)? We tried to rig it up as an intercom in our houses and cabins and boats and cars - not to call in firepower for conflict with a mortal enemy but to ask for more comforts in the den."

As we go through out our day, I encourage you apply the urgency and persistence of prayer that Piper stresses. I pray that you will continue in and out of a perpetual state of prayer - whether at work, the gym, driving, or in the comfort of our home. But let me remind you as I remind myself - let's try to commit at least 10 minutes of prayer time alone to God (minimal). I'm talking about alone in our room or home with no one else around just you and the Lord. Consider praying out loud even (it keeps me from being side tracked). We must realize how desperately in need of Him we are and we can't afford to go without prayer. We simply cant afford and don't have time to leave out prayer!

In Ephesians 6:17-18 Paul makes the connection between the life of war and the work of prayer. "Take the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints." Notice how it says in 17 - "take the sword of the spirit.... praying"! So how does verse 17 say we are to wield the Word? - By prayer!

Just pointing out the obvious connection between war-time and the work of prayer. Have a great day on the battlefield boys! My prayer time will be at 10:00am sharp. How bout you?!

A prayer from A.W. Tozer in "The pursuit of God":
"Lord teach me to listen. The times are noisy and my ears are weary with the thousand raucous sounds which continuously assault them. Give me the spirit of the boy Samuel when he said to Thee, "Speak, for thy servant heareth." Let me hear the speaking in my heart. Let me get used to the sound of Thy voice, that its tones may be familiar when the sounds of the earth die away and the only sound will be music of Thy speaking voice. Amen!"

Fingertip Porn

2009-03-11T07:12:00.001-07:00

Recently the expert culture watcher, Walt Mueller was conducting a Q&A session with parents. One of the parents from the audience asked Walt what he felt was the single most impacting cultural change that those who live with and serve youth should be most concerned about. His answer is no surprise but a sober reminder to us all. He said: "As a husband, father of two girls and two boys, and a youth culture-watcher, I would have to say that one of the cultural changes that concerns me the most is the growing volume, pervasiveness and accessibility of online pornography. It's shaping how an entire generation is thinking about themselves, about others and about the wonderful God-given gift of their sexuality. And to be honest, where I think it's leading our kids is very, very frightening."
I know that I do not have to remind you that our culture is indeed shaping those we love and serve more and more towards a self absorbed, pleasure seeking, self excusing, egocentric group of whinners. I know you know and I know that you know I know you know and I know that you know that I know you know I know.
But more and more we see students AND parents who want something for nothing and then complain when it requires some effort on their part. We don't want to EARN it, we would rather just HAVE it.
We blame the system, the govt., the "man" (whoever the "man" is) and then wonder why our students seem to abort responsibility and perseverance.
I offer TWO insights for practicum:
1. Teach students to take pride in and personal responsibility for all they do, see, hear and participate in.
2. Teach students that the truth of Christ and His teachings are absolute, irreversable, binding and full of grace.

Small Effort, Big Difference

2009-03-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

At some point all of us have been annoyed by a persistent little pest.

I am not talking about the overprotective, high maintenance parent that likes to bend your ear before and after every ministry event. I am talking about Genus Anopheles, the most common mosquito found in North America. These little blood suckers are normally not a problem due to our indoor work life, insect repellents and outdoor spray control programs. But have you ever been in a dark room, eyelids in the resting position, drifting peacefully off to sleep when suddenly you hear it. A buzz, then more buzzing, closer and closer until your position is compromised. At that moment you know unless you deal with this little problem, your chance for a peaceful night's rest is wishful thinking.

The truth is, every youth leader feels small and insignificant at some point. When your moment comes or returns, remember that even a small effort can make a big difference.

So, write that encouraging note, send that personal email, prepare that lesson, stop by the game on your way home, show up at the pep rally and keep on praying . . . because in God's economy small is relative. Small persistent investments in His hands can produce huge dividends.

May God supply you with the confidence found in II Corinthians 9:10 "Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; "

The Superman Syndrone

2009-03-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

No, I am not talking about your Intern staff or the effect your last successful ministry event had on your psyche. I am referring to the invisible shield that surrounds the adolescent with regards to his/her perceived consequences for actions.
Like a private tattoo engraved just below the surface, there is a marking on the chest of every adolescent, a symbol and reflection of developmental stage and attitude. Although it arrives at different times, rest assured that between ages 14-17 nearly 100% have been imprinted.

Just beneath his shirt/her blouse there is a giant "S" tattooed. Superman and Wonderwoman are alive and well. In fact, it is the primary reason why teens don't "get" it when they are given advice, guidance or warnings. They consequences are for someone else, anyone else, and someone other than them, but not them. He/she is the exception, the ONE to whom the law of gravity and the law of action and reaction (Newton's Third Law of Motion) does not apply.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs - equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.
Students tend to develop this natural sense of "that won’t happen to me" mentality when it comes to a variety of risky behaviors (sex, stealing, lying, speeding, reputation, etc.)

What can be done about this Superman Syndrome? The bad news is that it can not be prevented entirely. It can not be removed entirely and it should never be discounted. The good news is that it can be channeled, shaped and reduced to an appropriate level for healthy processing and adjusting during the developmental stages toward adulthood.
Which, by the way are:
1. Infancy (birth -age 2)
2. Early Childhood (3 - 8 yrs)
3. Later childhood (9 -12)
4. Adolescence (13 - 18).
5. Adulthood - 18 and over

Three tips to ministering to the Superman and Wonderwomen of your ministry.
1. Remember they are in process and not camping out. They are on a journey and the youth group is not the destination.
2. DOING - shapes future behavior more than hearing & seeing - hands down, always, bank it, shoot it, count it.
3. You can’t shape them all (not even half, not even a third) you must train volunteers to take up the same mantle relational ministry as you.

Can't stop it, Can't move it

2009-03-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

Ever heard this question? What happens when an unstoppable force or object collides with an immovable object?
The standard answer and the one I was always told is that the end result of this scenario would be Total Destruction. But recently I discovered that this is not the case. A physics professor explained it this way: The nature of the immovable object is that it can't be moved, and the nature of the unstoppable object is that it can't be stopped. So, if by chance the unstoppable and the unmovable should meet, their collision would form a new object possessing the nature of both entities.
The nature of the new entity will be both immovable and unstoppable and the two objects would no longer exist, but rather is molecularlly transformed into the newly created entity. This cuased me to consider this: When God's unconditional, absolute love collides with His unmovable law of sin and death, the result is the destruction of the old self and out of it - a New Creation, a new entity is born. '
So let the collision begin . . .

Summer Camp vs. Mission Trip - choose wisely

2009-02-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

In meeting with a small group of student leaders recently, one comment in particular caught my attention. One minister declared; "well, we don't DO summer camp any more, we do mission trip. Our kids would rather do missions than camp and I think that reflects mature ministry."

For a little while I managed to keep my mouth shut and not respond (but those 15 seconds passed fast). I was hoping he would clarify his position a bit before my mouth opened. Hurry, clarify that with something intelligent. I prayed for strength to hold my tongue, I applied my hand to my mouth in hopes that it would remind my lips to stay neutral. To no avail, as soon as an appropriate pause entered our presence, I shared my thoughts on "mature" ministry. Stepping up to my summer camp soapbox, I began; Friends and neighbors, young and old, stupid and brilliant, egoistic and humble, beginners and veterans - It is of course not an either/or and it is also not about both/and, at least not automatically so. Rather, it is about planning with stinking purpose . . . for the hundredth thousandth time. And let me just add a side bar here for the GenX and Millennials; contray to popular belief, Doug Fields did not come up with the idea of Purpse Driven Ministry. It is not a Saddleback concept. Now for those of you who drink weekly from the faucet of www.simplyyouthministry.com, please put your swords and paintball guns down. Make no mistake about it, I am glad for Doug's book and resources. PDYM was long overdue in a time period in modern youth ministry when we were becoming overstocked with slackard and disfunctional student ministries. In fact, I built an entire course around it (STM 310) as the primary text book at the Baptist College of Florida. But with all due respect to the decade old Purpose Driven movement, I was taught the concept of planning with purpose and creating mission satements by old professors back in 1981 at New Orleans Seminary. And, I might add, they seem to teach the concept as if it was an old staple of mature ministry even when it was taught to them- way back in the day.

Ok, back to Camp vs. Mission trip - when I hear this idea of missions rather than camp, what I am often times really hearing - besides bla bla bla bla bla bla bla is:
1. I cant afford to do both summer camp and mission trip, so we pick the one that is the easist to garnish financail support from our senior adults and others to pay for most of it.
2. I am not very successful in doing outreach to connect to the lost community, so we just nurture our "core" kids and take them away on mission trips.
3. We dont have any peripheral students or lost kids hanging around our ministry so we dont have much need for a camp where the lost will be saved.
4. It is much easier to herd "core" students than manage a pack of wild students who think, talk and behave like lost students.
5. I am a "Lone Ranger" style of ministry and I simply can not coordinate and direct two major events during the summer and keep our other minsitry programs up to speed.
6. It sounds more spiritual to declare our love, support and intentionality towards the call to mission endeavors.
7. Serving others through missions makes our ministry look more Godly even though many of our students who are passionate about serving in Jesus' name never apply His purspose for living to their daily life actions.
So when someone says: "we don't DO camp, we do mission trips" it may not be for one of the reasons above but the real point of position is this: We must plan our ministry caledars with purpose towards accomplishing a comprehensive and balanced ministry which can and perhaps should include two of the most productive ministry initiativfes on the calander - Summer Camp and Mission Trip. In doing so, we help push on towards accomplishing the neccessary balance of Evangelism, Worhsip, Discipleship, Ministry and Fellowship (thanks Doug)

What in the world are you talking about?

2009-02-20T12:11:00.001-08:00

Good communication is an essential element of accomplishing any youth ministry. We communicate to students and leaders, to parents and church staff. We communicate in large groups and small groups, with our words and our actions, and in our fliers and our bulletins. Nearly every aspect of ministry involves communication. Our purposes may be determined, our programs developed, and our principles defined, but we must communicate what that purpose is, where and when those programs are, and how the ministry will be accomplished.

In short communication is central to a healthy professional youth ministry. So what? So why does it seem like many youth leaders treat the job of researching the scripture and planning their weekly student sermon like it is an incidental element. Why do many treat the meeting with parents as a necessary evil with little to no advance planning, no agenda, no hand outs or consideration of what a parent is looking for from the time spent. I'm just saying . . . come on guys - lets plan to be more professional and respectful of the time our volunteer teams and parents give towards His ministry under our direction.

If we want to be taken serious, then we need to put on our big boy boxers and plan more like professionals OR . . . just admit that you're not up to the job and move it on down the road so those who are serious about the world of Student Ministry can lead it to Grow Up and Become what God intends and what the church needs.

Five Fundamentals of Filtering

2009-02-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

Just saw a great update from Walt Mueller over at CPYU. He was discussing the ever changing world of Marketing, pushing the envelope and how that "push" of the envelope affects our response, perception, and ultimately, our ministry. That caused me to think about how we spend our energy in ministry trying to keep up with the change, wanting to know the culture and yet not wanting to be changed by it regarding the message of hope in Christ. I have always felt that it was more biblical and practical to teach students FILTERING skill rather than concepts. Concepts tend to be more abstract that must be applied to each situation. Filtering skills are one step closer where we can apply our developing filters to anything we see, hear or experience. Especially for Middle School students, we need to be as concrete as we can. With this in mind I thought it would be beneficial to share with you the SME filtering questions that I share at Parenting Conferences. These five were adapted from Walt Mueller's list called The Simple Seven Ad-Filtering Questions.

I call mine: The Five Fundamentals of Filtering.
1. Is someone trying to SELL me something?
2. If I "buy" it, will I also be indirectly purchasing an idea, lifestyle, behavior or world view.?
3. Is there bait, hook or promise that lures me out of my zone of Christian standard?
4. Is the person communicating information or selling "products" to me trustworthy?
5. Does this idea, attitude, lifestyle or behavior reflect Christ?

Write something original

2009-02-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

I can tell you that after 27 years in student ministry, I am not very easily shocked - not by students, not by leadership and not by parents. From sex in the baptismal pool to telling a parent to shut the crap up during a heated meeting, I have heard of many situations and actions that would, under normal circumstances be hard to believe. But in church life and considering some of the people manning the helm, I just don't often hear much that is unbelievable.

That being said, I confess that recently I was shocked when a youth minister shared with me over some hot wings something that I just could not believe. At first, I thought I misunderstood what he said, so I interjected a few thoughts and questions to gently confirm my understanding. To my amazement, I did hear him correctly. I was actually hoping that my age was affecting my hearing to such a degree as to have just heard him wrong. But that was not the case. What he told me is a simple by-product of our time. It is something that our culture has produced and encouraged. It is an activity that has been slowly slipping into our modern ministry culture. Now don't worry, I am not naming names - not a good idea in the consulting business anyway - but since he is not a big shot in youth ministry, you want know him and he wouldn't care anyway. He already knows I am blogging about him and doesn't give a rip about what other student leaders think of him because he is in a great church, paid well and has good support. No wonder he doesn't care what you think. The fact is he doesn’t care much about what you think is really rather indicative of the appalling action I am about to reveal. If he cared about your opinion, then he might care about his weekly messages to students. I know they are breeds apart but it speaks of his attitude towards excellence and preparation. What is this nearly unbelievable action? HE HAS NEVER PREPARED A STUDENT SERMON FROM SCRATCH! Are you kidding me? No I am not kidding you. He has never prepared a single sermon for his students from his own personal, from scratch, bible study, preparation, exegesis, analysis and assimilation of message ideas put to outline and text. What does he do? He does what a growing number of student leaders are doing - He uses several of the many Ready-set-go, Wing-it, web based short cut solutions available through the miracle of click. Yep, its today’s Youth Ministry in a Box - here ya go - all ready for ya -slick, affordable and downloadable or copy pasted all in under two minutes. Hey, this one even has an ice breaker/mixer to match the message. Now, I am not saying that we don’t take, borrow, steal ideas and beginning points or other partials to develop a sermon or a series of messages. That is just good research and networking. Rather, I am talking about the regurgitation of what someone else put together. And neither am I talking about the occasional need for a break or even taking a short cut due to an emergency or extra busy week. But rather, I am speaking of the microwavable messages that have become the common place easy route simply because . . . well it is easy.

So what’s the big deal with taking a short cut? Well I am glad you asked.
1. Your creative juices are not being squeezed and enjoyed. God gave them to you, use them.
2. You can't preach from your heart what has not been laid upon it.
3. The “Study to show thyself approved” sort of fades out of the picture.
4. It is more difficult to preach with power and conviction when it came from someone else’s power and conviction.
5. Unless you are giving credit where credit is due, then you are lying - ok, white lying - but hey, it is for kingdom impact, so extra grace applies - double up.
6. Your sermon development and interpretation muscles (a little thing we call hermeneutics) are being underworked and growing weaker by the day.
7. The raw development of sermons will flow from your bible reading, your devotional time and your life experiences based upon the needs of your students. This is terribly difficult to accomplish on someone else’s dime.
8. Your maturity as a speaker, presenter, preacher, teacher and gospelizer is dependent upon your personal study and development time.
9. It is easier to remember and preach what God is revealing to you than what God revealed to someone else.
10. Authenticity is a hot commodity. Students will recognize the difference and you will notice a change in your connection with them after sitting under your "word" to them, for them from Him through you, their shepherd.

OK, somebody shoot this horse before I make an enemy or two or three or four or . . .

I’m just saying: Write it from scratch . . . they will come.

2009-02-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

Three, no Four Absolutes in creating an honest healthy ministry.

1. ALWAYS Plan with Ministry Purpose! It doesn't have t always be serious or deeply spiritual but it does need to meet of of the biblical based essentials (Fellowship, Evangelism, Ministry, Worship or Discipleship)

2. Remember that Every Student is a Window to a FAMILY - not represents a family but rather is a window to a family. That means we minister TO and THROUGH students to the greater end.

3. Every Student counts the same in a healthy ministry. Never, Never court, lure, enlist or pursue the athlete, musician, singer, beauty, stud or skilled student over and above the average, normal introverted struggling teen.

4. Prayer will supersede a boat load of stupidity! No matter whether you consider your student ministry to be one of the HAVES or HAVE NOTS, without prayer, it is empty, lifeless and . . . unhealthy! No matter what it looks like on the outside.

2009-01-31T17:51:00.000-08:00

I give in. I resisted as long as I could but there is just no getting around it. Sharing your thoughts and publishing them to the world feels a bit unnatural and narcissistic. But, I admit, the connection and invisible networking results are a wonderful advantage in creating healthy ministries as well as new friendships.